He had everything I wanted; I mean everything I had only dreamed possible. Not only that, it was all given to him on a silver platter. I had looked up to him, I was amazed at his desire and I wish I could just have a piece of what he had. So when I came in contact with him after several years, I have to admit for one solid moment I was jealous but only for a moment.
What was it that made me so green with envy? Where do I start? First of all, he had an awesome family! Parents that where together, that loved him and raised him in a loving home. He had the coolest siblings, and they seemed they never fight and got along great. He was rich; his parents could easily pay for almost anything. He never was left needing and always had the best. He was tall & handsome, but sweet & not full of himself, all the girls admire him.
That was only a few things, but he had more. He wanted to be a doctor, a desire for medicine. He was smart, and had his choice in any school. He was able to focus mainly on school and not worry about paying for anything. He had desired, to go on medical mission trips to help those who were not just hurting physically but spiritual too.
He had a heritage, a strong deep One God Apostolic Pentecostal Heritage. A history of strong preachers, he was raised in this truth. He had gone to church since he was born. He had sat under some of the best preaching, he was able to go to conferences around the country. He had a soft heart towards God and had desired to go into the ministry. He had everything, and every opportunity to do what he desired.
Then there was me, my family was dysfunctional with a capital D. My siblings and I fought constantly, and my parents were split with a nasty divorce. I had moved so much that I never knew on place as home and the gaps in my education were horrible. I struggle in school so much I barely finish high school. I had to pay my own bills, fend for myself and pay for my own college. I had to drop out so I could work in order to pay bills and my dreams of a doctor degree faded in the hopes of just receiving my RN degree instead. I was average looking, and most did not turn heads to look at me but at my beautiful friends. I had chosen to live for God, against my families wishes and served Him alone.
So when I saw him after several years at a family get together for only a moment I was jealous. He was now a doctor, doing his internship, his parents paid for his schooling, his apartment, car and everything so he could focus on his degree. He was just as charming as before and just as handsome. But I wouldn’t want to trade places with him for the world, in fact that what he trade his life in for, this world. He had turned his back on God, trade a life with Jesus for a doctor’s degree. He traded all the promises of God for the lies of the Devil.
When I look into his eyes, I saw the look of the world, sorrow, pain, anguish, anger and so much more. A scripture came to mind almost immediately. Matt 16:26, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” I may not have a whole lot; I may not be able to ever become a doctor or even a Nurse. I may not have a lot in this world, drive a broken down car, work pay check to pay check. I might look poor to this world but if you have Jesus you have more then you anyone in this world.
The very next Sunday my aunt sang her trademark song. I love this song but this Sunday it really touched my heart. You see I could have had so much if I wanted too but why when I had everything this world doesn’t have. Would I trade it, no not to be a doctor or for money or fame or anything, I just won’t trade.
“I won’t trade Him for silver and gold
I won’t trade Him for riches untold
For my Jesus means so much to me
I won’t trade Him for anything.”
What was it that made me so green with envy? Where do I start? First of all, he had an awesome family! Parents that where together, that loved him and raised him in a loving home. He had the coolest siblings, and they seemed they never fight and got along great. He was rich; his parents could easily pay for almost anything. He never was left needing and always had the best. He was tall & handsome, but sweet & not full of himself, all the girls admire him.
That was only a few things, but he had more. He wanted to be a doctor, a desire for medicine. He was smart, and had his choice in any school. He was able to focus mainly on school and not worry about paying for anything. He had desired, to go on medical mission trips to help those who were not just hurting physically but spiritual too.
He had a heritage, a strong deep One God Apostolic Pentecostal Heritage. A history of strong preachers, he was raised in this truth. He had gone to church since he was born. He had sat under some of the best preaching, he was able to go to conferences around the country. He had a soft heart towards God and had desired to go into the ministry. He had everything, and every opportunity to do what he desired.
Then there was me, my family was dysfunctional with a capital D. My siblings and I fought constantly, and my parents were split with a nasty divorce. I had moved so much that I never knew on place as home and the gaps in my education were horrible. I struggle in school so much I barely finish high school. I had to pay my own bills, fend for myself and pay for my own college. I had to drop out so I could work in order to pay bills and my dreams of a doctor degree faded in the hopes of just receiving my RN degree instead. I was average looking, and most did not turn heads to look at me but at my beautiful friends. I had chosen to live for God, against my families wishes and served Him alone.
So when I saw him after several years at a family get together for only a moment I was jealous. He was now a doctor, doing his internship, his parents paid for his schooling, his apartment, car and everything so he could focus on his degree. He was just as charming as before and just as handsome. But I wouldn’t want to trade places with him for the world, in fact that what he trade his life in for, this world. He had turned his back on God, trade a life with Jesus for a doctor’s degree. He traded all the promises of God for the lies of the Devil.
When I look into his eyes, I saw the look of the world, sorrow, pain, anguish, anger and so much more. A scripture came to mind almost immediately. Matt 16:26, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” I may not have a whole lot; I may not be able to ever become a doctor or even a Nurse. I may not have a lot in this world, drive a broken down car, work pay check to pay check. I might look poor to this world but if you have Jesus you have more then you anyone in this world.
The very next Sunday my aunt sang her trademark song. I love this song but this Sunday it really touched my heart. You see I could have had so much if I wanted too but why when I had everything this world doesn’t have. Would I trade it, no not to be a doctor or for money or fame or anything, I just won’t trade.
“I won’t trade Him for silver and gold
I won’t trade Him for riches untold
For my Jesus means so much to me
I won’t trade Him for anything.”
Not worth the trade,
Jacqueline Suzanne
1 comment:
I love your blog! :) Soooo I nominated you with the Kreative blogger award! Go to classicmarymoments.blogspot.com for details!
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