Saturday, December 14, 2013

Garden of Flowers

Garden of Flowers

She was upset, Jo March for years she had to be company for her aunt she very much disliked!  So when her younger sister Amy took over the duties, Jo was glad! More time to write and read, she said.  She didn't realized that Amy would actually form a bond with the cranky old woman.  So when Aunt March decide to go abroad to Europe and asked for Amy to come along and not Jo, Jo was upset.  Jo easy temper flared up, jealousy took over and she expressed loudly to her parents.  But  they would have none of it.

There was something that Jo said that I never forgot. She told her parents that she will pick a bouquet of flowers out of Amy's garden of happiness.  She wouldn't just act happy, she would BE Happy!!!

That simple concept stuck with me for years, and came to mind when I would become jealous or envious or upset at another's happiness.  It wasn't fair for them if I came in and tore up their garden, ruined their flowers and steal their happiness.  But I began to pick a small bouquet of flowers, I'd fake happiness till I got, I felt it. Gathering bits of happiness from others.  Over time as the flowers faded I was left with seeds.

While my family, got to travel, I had to stay home to work. While friends got married, I kept searching for my own love.  While other held bundles of joy, my arms dreamed of the days of the future.  I tried not to complain, prayed through my jealous, wiped away my tears, smiled through the pain and hid my loneliness.  Not one thing was missed by by God.

One Sunday, I sat alone on the pew, the evangelist was in town. He did not know me, the pastor did not say anything to him.  While he was preaching he walked the aisle, stopping near me, he locked eyes. "Your trial is almost over, I can see it.  It's right there. God was showing me during service. It's almost over!!! It's so close, I can see it! I rejoice with you, I can see it! I can see it."

I was going through a lot right then, the words were powerful.  I rejoiced, theses were words from God, no one in that service could deny it.  But I didn't realize the full meaning, while alter call was going on I received another message from the man of God.

"Do you understand what I said?" Before I could answer he went on, "no you don't. God has seen your faithfulness, He has seen your tears, He knows your loneliness.  You honored him with contentment, He hasn't forgotten you." I couldn't contain the tears that rolled down my cheeks when he said the next part. "You have sat on the pew alone for years, you never complained. God has seen you and hasn't forgotten. You will never sit alone again. He is sending you someone, He is coming, you won't be alone. He is sending you a great joy, and one day the pew will be also filled with little joys too. Do you understand?"  I could only nod and cry, "I could see it, I could see it! And I rejoice with you!"

The tears I shed that day was like April Showers to May Flowers. All the seed I had collected from others were blooming now for me.  The following week, I was to have a visitor from a far, someone I cared for deeply. That was in October, his arrival was a ray of sunshine to me. By end of November, my garden was in full bloom.

On November 27th, 2013, Ryan got down on one knee and proposed.  I of course said yes!  My heart is bursting with happiness!!! I had full approval of my pastor, his pastor, his family and many other dear in my life.  As others congratulate us in our upcoming marriage, I was overwhelm with happiness!!!

Don't worry about picking a bouquet, I will freely give you the flowers!  I'm so blessed I will share it with all!  Today I felt like I was throwing flowers to everyone, "Here, be happy not for me but WITH me!" For those that shared their flowers here flowers to thank you for allowing me to share with you before. For others, hold onto the flowers, plant the seeds, water them with prayer, be patient and God will honor you!!!

Never stop sewing seeds, because one day there will be a garden of flowers!

Jacqueline Suzanne

Sunday, December 1, 2013

30 Days of Thanksgiving

Last Sunday we had a night of Thanks, with a dinner, fellowship and time to testify of God's goodness. I had so much to be thankful for so I wrote this poem to cover everything I'm thankful for!  Inspired by the 30 days of thankfulness people often post online during the month of November.

 30 days of Thanksgiving 

It’s 30 days of Thanksgiving, but I did it all at once
Cause I never can remember to post them one by one

#1 is the most important my Jesus, a friend to me
He is my Redeemer & Savior, who set my soul free

2 would be my family, 3 my old time friends
4 would be my new ones, my friendship I extend

5 would be my job even if I work all night
6 would be Arizona and all its pretty sights

7 is the number of birthday I’ve had, I was told I’d never see
But 2 years ago, I was finally told that I was Cancer Free

The Next 6, call me Auntie, that is a greatest honor
Aurora, Gregg  & Aubrey, Lexi, Ashtyn and little Conner

14 for clothes to wear, 15 is my spoiled cats,
16 for a place to live, 17 food that makes me fat

18 would be my church, where the truth of God is preached
Excited for the New Year and all the souls we’ll reach

19 would be my minivan which is pushing 300k
20 is sunrises and sunsets of every single day

I better start to hurry; I’m taking up too much time
Besides I’m having trouble finding words that will rhyme

There are Simple things I find that make my life complete
Good Books, Good Music & Lily who is my puppet chimpanzee

There also are my crazy cousins, my uncles and my aunts
Also the Greatest Grandma, Oh by the way, nice pants!

Let us quickly count, that was 7, so we’re now at twenty eight
I’m thankful for this dinner and all the food we ate

29 is the years I’ve waited to meet that special one,
My sweetheart, Ryan Murphy, you better not run!

Now we are finally at 30, I bet you thought it would not end
Lastly I’m thankful for you, and here's to being friends


Jacqueline Suzanne