Midnight Reflections

Blogger Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest

2011-12-15T03:08:00.001-07:00

Please go to my other Blog for the Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest.
http://onlyyoujac.blogspot.com/2011/12/ugly-christmas-sweater-blogger.html

Voices of Truth

2011-10-11T23:36:00.007-07:00

I rolled over and looked again, the bring red numbers glared at me, it was 4am. I had only slept 3 hours and now I was wide awake. “What was I doing?” I thought, “I can’t go through with this! I’m not ready!” Yet, I had seen it already; I was on the program I couldn’t bow out now! But even now in the dark I was shaking, I had to be brave but I was scared more than anyone could every know.

Oh, What I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat, I’m in, onto the crashing waves…

Creative Ministry Solution, formally known as One Way Street would put on a weekend Puppet Conference every year right here in Phoenix. In March, of this year I had begun the Puppet Ministry for our church and I knew this resource was invaluable and much needed. I had a lot to learn, and I wanted our team to compete in the Puppet Song Competition but decided we weren’t quite ready. But as I read more about the conference I saw there was another Competition for Creative Ministry, entries could be Clowns, Mime Acts, Rod Ministry, Puppet Skits, & Ventriloquism. It was the latter that caught my attention, could I actually pull off a Vent routine?

To step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown Where Jesus is, and he’s holding out his hand…

Working with normal puppet team, you have an advantage but it could also be a disadvantage. I do most of my work behind a puppet stage, blocked from staring eyes. People don’t know it me; they are looking at the puppet. I feel the pressure but not as much. But if I do Ventriloquism, talk about putting yourself out there! You are exposed, relying on only yourself and God. God, I trusted but it was me that I didn’t trust.

But the waves are calling out my name, and they laugh at me. Reminding me of all the times I tried before and failed. The waves they keep on telling me time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win, you’ll never win…

I always had a little bit of stage fright in my life but I could always push through it. But lately, well lately it was getting worst. I couldn’t pinpoint a moment that caused it to get worst just times that push me back. Like right after my surgery when I had cancer, I had vocal damage and years of training my voice to hit high notes had vanished in one day. I couldn’t sing songs like I once did, I had to start over. I watch as choir solos and singing opportunities be given to others. When I did sing I was so nervous I would ruin it, I would fail at it, even when it was a range I was able to do. I was no longer the strong vocal leader. But it wasn’t just that, my ability to present in front of others would give me anxiety. Job interviews began to become difficult, years of working on the telephone caused me to fear face to face communication. Little by little, I got worst and worst till I realize one day it had gotten so bad. Anytime I got in front of people I would nearly panic, my failures were so many, I would flashback. But it was other things that cut even deeper.

Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant with a just a sling and a stone…

I was standing behind the stage, so nervous I was even making the stage hands nervous. They did my best to comfort me but my mind was far away. I was thinking of my brother, who had lost hope. I was his biggest fan, he was an incredible actor. He did many plays during High School and had lead role at times. But he gave up hope, and just this year in January took his own life at only 28. I wish I could have done more so he could have been here to see me. He had always said to me, that he was my biggest fan. But now he was gone and would not be there to see me.

Many times I could overcome my fear and stage fright but when it came to doing Ventriloquism even though I had study & practice the art for 10+ years I had never actually performed. My mirror was my only audience and once in awhile I’d warm up to kids and talk to them using the skill, but never in front of crowds. I would freeze and almost refuse, only walking away feeling rejected.

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor. Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand.

The Emcee began to talk about Ventriloquism and the art. How it not easy, that there was no curtain and that you are exposed yourself. That it took practice and hard work, but can be accomplished and used as a ministry. That it took guts to get up and do it especially in front of experienced puppeteers. Words both encouraged and discouraged me at the same time, what if I mess this up? What if I can’t go through with this? Do I really have the guts to do this?

But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me, Reminding me of all the times, I’ve tried before and failed. The giant keeps telling me time and time again. “Boy you’ll never win, you’ll never win.”…

Ten years ago I felt the calling, yes, crazy as it seems to be called to do ventriloquism. Our church did not have the resources to start an actual puppet team. But I had a dream to do it one day, but I knew it would be years down the road. In the mean time, I was able to work with an incredible puppet team and learn from them. I was able to work behind the stage at camps, to learn technique and most of all be mentor by skilled puppeteers. But when I realize I would not be able to start a real team, I started feeling a pull towards ventriloquism, a puppet ministry that could be used by one person. But my mentors did not agree to it & cut me off.

“Ventriloquism is from the devil! That is evil and you should not even consider it. Vent puppets are rude, mean, disrespectful to not only the puppeteer but to others. That is devil work and should not be considering it at all. If you do we will not help you.” Those words hit hard, I was confused. In times of prayer I felt I was being drawn to this and other encourage me to try it. But was it from the Devil? I finally went to my pastor; I told him what they said to me. After listening to my story he told me something I have never forgotten.

“Each tool or talent we are given can be used many different ways. The same tool that used for evil can also be used for good. A hammer can be used to hurt someone but the same hammer in the right hands can be used to build a church for His Glory. Just be the right hands that do the right thing and it can be used for His Glory.” That small nugget of truth was enough to take that Giant of Fear and Doubt down.

But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground and the waves they don’t seem so high from on top of them looking down…

I took a deep breath as I stood in position to go out on stage but also to step out in faith, this was so much more than just a competition. I didn’t care what the judges had to say. I didn’t care if I got first place or last. I needed to face the waves of doubt and the giants of fear. I had to conquer this even though it wouldn’t be the first battle I would face but I had to start somewhere.

I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of
Jesus singing over me.

She is just a little monkey puppet, with child like faith, full of hopes to tell kids and adults about Jesus. Her curious mind makes the gospel simple but fun. She was not rude or mean, she found other ways to make people laugh. She had a heart of gold, just like the lovely lady Sis. Lillian White, in whom Lily was named after; Lillian Chimpette, also simple known as Lily of the Valley. She would debut today to more than her little church. Her companion was myself, a girl with big dreams of sharing the gospel in a simple but fun way. But had just enough faith to step out and listen to the voices of truth. So when they finally announce us, the nerves were still there but I was stepping out behind the stage but also out in faith.

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story…

In a world that tells us so much negativity, they lie to keep from offending us; we have to learn to shift though all the voices and look for the truth and hold on tight.

The Voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”

When you focus on the correct voice and listen to God you have the greatest warrior standing in your corner. Why should we be afraid? Yet, human nature can be so strong at times; the question we have to listen to is ourselves or God?

The Voice of truth says “This is for My Glory”

Some will think you are doing it to glorify yourself. But when you do it for Him, he will put His Anointing on it. He will smooth out your flaws and let others not notice it. He will help you perfect it. Be your strength in times of weakness. And allow you to do more than you ever thought possible.

If you look back on my performance from that afternoon, you can see how nervous I was. You can hear it in my voice; my script was very much read and not natural at times. I had trouble having Lily interact with the crowd. But to me, I see the flaws but I see one battle completed. Dreams that seem too far away now come to view.

At this conference, Casting Crowns Song: Voice of Truth was used in performances on two different occasions. For me the song seemed to yell out to me but it didn’t get though at first. But when I left I listen to it again I had realized that when I was all mixed up with doubt there was voices of truth speaking through it all. Like my pastor saying “Go for it!” Others saying “You can do it”. The crowd of people that I was afraid would throw tomatoes at me, were actually cheering me on! When I listen to truth it drowns out the voices of doubts and lies.

When we got back our results I was shocked to receive the Silver Award. I felt like a million bucks and reading what the Judges had to say, I received much needed feedback that was express to help and not tear down. But the shocker of them all was when I was awarded “People’s Choice”. I had no idea I would receive that award and felt like crying! When you stop and choose to focus on the Voice of truth you can do things you never expected to do.

Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.

Listening to Truth,
Jacqueline

I Am A Puppeteer...

2011-10-01T04:50:00.003-07:00

Always,

Jacqueline

A 9/11 Miracle

2011-09-11T04:40:00.008-07:00

They say that my children will ask me where I was on September 11, 2001. They will learn about it in school in history class. They will want to know, what I remember and what I felt. They will ask me questions about what I saw and how it changed the course of American History. But beyond the facts and beyond my own feelings, beyond it all I hope that I will be able to share a story to my future children that a will show a miracle happen that day. That caused a 17 year old faith grow 10x in size and was able to see that God was still in control even when it felt the world had fallen apart.

It was about 5:30am when I woke up and was getting ready for work. Cause of the hour I didn’t normal turn on the radio, but for some reason I did. As the DJ was talking, all of a sudden someone came into the station and handed him something to read. He did not have time to read it but announce it. You could hear his voice go in shock and crack as he tried to compose himself as he announces the news. One of the Twin Towers had been hit in New York City, it was uncertain if it was a bomb or not. At that moment, it seemed the world stood still.

I worked at a bagel shop, as my morning progressed we received the latest news from costumers. That the Pentagon had been hit, then there was something in Pennsylvania, then we realize after the 2nd Tower was hit that it was planes. No one felt safe, and the confusion of trying to figure out what happen hit us all. But my coworker, Frank would nearly shake every time we heard more news.

Frank was an interesting character; he was a guy that was in your face kind of guy. He worked 3 different jobs, including working at a Hunted House. Nothing bother him and hadn’t been for me stepping in, he would have had a few screaming matches with the customers. But today, well that day it was different. He was worried; he checked his phone several times a minute. I thought the news had gotten to him but I had no idea.

“Honey, Honey it’s going to be ok. Don’t worry. Just be patient, everything is mess right now.” I had walk out back to do something when I overheard the conversation. Frank was on the phone and he didn’t see me. Back behind the counter I asked him, he hesitated but he told me.

“My girlfriend’s father called us early this morning. Left a message on our voicemail, he said. ‘Baby Girl, I’m on my way to the Trade Center to help out. I’ll be ok. I love you.’” Frank shared the story, “He is a New Jersey Fireman.” At that moment, someone walk in and told us the World Trade Center had collapsed.

“Frank,” I said, “I know a God that knows where your girlfriend’s dad is at this moment. And I know that He will protect him and keep him safe.

“How do you know that your God will protect him? Where is God today?”, Frank yelled hysterically at me.

“I don’t understand why this is happening but I have a God that bigger than the World Trade Centers. And God is in control. And God will keep him safe. I will be praying for him” I said calmly back. I had no idea where I had the faith to say such words.

The devastation from that day was too much. We listen though out that day at the news, trying to piece together the news. As the day went on, the world felt so cold and the pain so strong. With all the news of the day, I had simply forgotten what I had said earlier but God didn’t.

“YOU!”, Frank yelled the moment I walk in the doors of work the next day. “YOU!” he yelled again pointing his figure at me. I stop in my track and was too startled to speak. He had yelled so loud the whole shop was staring. “I don’t know what you did! I… I… I don’t know what to say but you tell your God, Thank you!” he said fighting back tears.

Frank shared with me that all day his girlfriend had been calling. She called her father no answer, she called the fire station and they would say nothing. None of his dad’s friend’s family knew a thing. But finally very late at night, she got a call from her father, he was ok.

His unit had been call into NYC and had arrived just in time to watch the towers collapsing. They were on standby and were not called into Ground Zero till later. His unit was sent into the scene and asked to check local buildings and make sure they were clear. As they check Tower 7 once more, a rumbling happen the men began to run. He said that it made no sense why his unit got out safely. They should have been trapped, injured and even killed. Yet, no one was hurt.

When his story was done, we had a crowd standing there. People were crying, one big fireman that often came was standing there and said, he needs to go share this story with his unit. I stood there as he said it again. “I don’t know what to say, but you tell your God, Thank you!” then he grabbed me up into a big hug.

That day, I found hope again. So did a bagel shop full of people. We saw that God was still in control. We saw a glimmer of hope in a world of darkness. That a 17 year old girl, who had a little bit of faith, pray that a man she never knew that was her coworker’s girlfriend’s father would be kept safe. In fact you can see it in the history books; no one was injured or killed in the collapse of the 7th Tower.

So when my children ask me about that day, yes I will tell them where I was and how I felt. I will tell them about how I felt sick to my stomach and hardly ate. How in the days after change the course of history. That the way we travel was forever changed. But I will also be able to tell about that no matter how bleak, no matter how dark the world may seem and no matter how painful it may seem. There is a God that with a little bit of faith will be there for you. He will listen to your prayers and he will even reach out 3,000 miles away and protect a group of fireman from a crumbling building because a teenager proclaimed it in faith. Why? To show us a 9/11 Miracle.

God Bless the USA,

Jacqueline

Judge Not

2011-08-18T15:28:00.003-07:00

The doors had barely swung open to the court room when he had already heard the judgment called. “GUILTY!” shouted the Judge as he slammed down the gravel, “Guilty, Guilty, GUILTY!” He was taken back as he staggered in. He had not even had a fair chance; He didn’t even get a chance to plea his case. He looked over at the jury box, would they be so quick with their verdict. Twelve angry men stared back at him. He began to fight back tears as he tried to stutter out a plea but kept getting cut off. He just need one face to look at him that was not judgmental. One face that would just listen, they did not know his story, they did not know the who, what, where or why of the situation. They had stamped a”Guilty” sign on him long before he had arrived.

“Any last words before we read your sentence?” The Judge said with a sneer. He took a deep breath, straighten his back, he would tell them the truth. He will give himself a fair chance, but as he looked up, he stood in shock. He could not speak, only a gasp could be heard. For when he looked at the Judge’s face, it was his own that he saw. He looked over at the Jury box, and saw twelve of him staring back.

That when it hit him, the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:1-2, “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” How easily he had judge others, how he disapproved or assumed before ever giving a chance. Now he was being judged the same, he would be found guilty without a case.
________________________________

I remember memorizing this scripture in my PACEs during High School. Judge Not! Oh wish, I could of preach that to other people. I was so often stereotyped, assumed I was something I was not and it frustrated me. I hated when I was judge, but it was overtime that I realize I did the same. I jump to conclusions, judge others quickly and harshly. How can I not be expected to not to be judge if I went on judging others?

How easily it is to judge others, they say first impression are the most important. For example, you find out you will be traveling this summer and will be able to go to a youth camp in a far away state you never been before. There will be new youth groups, new people that you have never met. You stand to the side as you see people come. One youth group is dress in fancier/stylish clothes; you stamp them as “Snobs!” Another youth group comes in, they are smaller group and stick close together, you think they are “Shy Ones”. Then another youth group seems to tumble out of the bus and come noisily into the foyer, they must be the “Wild Crowd” you will stay clear of them.

This could go on all day and before you realize it. You sit alone and meet no one and don’t have a fun time. If you didn’t judge first, you might of found out that the “Snobs” even though they wear nicer clothes are actually quite friendly. The “Shy Ones” stick together because they are simple used to each other but can gather a crowd entertaining each others with their crazy antics. The “Wild Crowd” though hyper is a perfect example of the “Zeal of the Lord”, solid in their love of God and full of his joy.
______________________________

It just not first impressions but other things in our life, others actions, decisions and so many other things. In a world that easily judges everything people do, we need to be the face that does not show judgment. God’s mercy see past the mistakes, the decisions, the actions even the clothes to see the truth. We as Christians are required to not judge. We must look with eyes of mercy and not a look of judgment!

One day a friend came to me seeking my advice, they wanted my opinion. After our conversation, they turned to me and said, “You know I can always count on you, you might not know what to say or do. But when I come to you, I know that no matter what that you aren’t going to judge me.” I’d have to say, that a pretty high compliment! But for me it has something I always had to work on, to not judge. In fact, when I find myself doing it, I simple quote Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” If I forget I can always feel the Holy Ghost nudging me, and simply saying, “JUDGE NOT!”

As Always,

Jacqueline

Heritage Conference: Song: Carry On

2011-07-22T15:50:00.002-07:00

On Thursday night of Heritage Conference as pre-service prayer went on for almost 2 hours. Church did not even begin till 8.15p (Prayer at 6.30p) Then after a quick sermon, altar call went on for a couple more hours.

During the prayer service that went on for some time God laid a song on my heart. Which has been the theme of this conference. "Dreams & Visions" Though more then one preacher touched on the subject it was Br. DC Moody that was the biggest inspiration of this song.

My prayer this week has been simply this...The Dreams of the Elders needs to become the Vision of the Youth! Lord, let me be strong enough to take on this burden!

Carry On

Verse 1
Gray hair and wrinkle brow
He poured out his heart
He had a dream that he knew
He'd never be apart
To the next generation
He hope to establish a foundation
To hold up the standard
He taught about

Chorus
Will you carry the cross?
Will you reach for the lost?
Will you hold up the standards
that have been held up so long?
Will you love like the Lord?
And abstain from this world?
Will you carry, carry on?

Verse 2
The preacher man, preach it out
As they began to sing and shout
They caught the dream and begain to see
What the vision was about
Now this generation
With the firm strong foundation
Stood up and began to proclaim it out

Chorus 2
We will carry the cross
We will reach for the lost
We will hold up the standard
That have been held up so long
We will love like the Lord
And abstain from this world
We will carry, carry on.

My Little Campers....

2011-06-20T05:41:00.002-07:00

The first of many more pics from Jr. Camp! Just love this picture!!! My Campers!!!

As Always,

Jacqueline

In Memory of Sis. Hope...

2011-06-04T23:41:00.007-07:00

Sis. Hope was a member of Landmark Pentecostal Church for over 25+ years. She was 91 years old when she passed from this world. I spoke at her memorial service and was requested to post my speech on my blog so other who where unable to attend could read it...

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in. Their true beauty is revealed only in there is a light from within.”
~Elizabeth Kubler Ross~

Though I’ve attended this church for some time, it wasn’t till my late teens when I began working at a long term health care facility that I began to really try to get to know Sis. Hope. Sis. Hope was always a part of this church, she always wore her white sweater even in 100 degree weather, she wore high heels for longer than I ever expected and carried her white purse and who can forget her pick. When I began that job, I learn some of my greatest life lessons, that life is extremely short, that people are people no matter their age, health, mental state and most of all that every life has a story. That story I wanted to know.

But getting to know Sis. Hope was one of the hardest stories I had ever tried to get to know. I wanted to know her life, her history, her childhood,… anything but Sis. Hope would only smile at me. She kept to herself and would not really share a thing. But in exchange I receive an unusual friendship; I had a new pew partner. I began to sit either in the same row or very close to Sis. Hope. So instead of learning her history, I began to make memories instead that I could cherish for a lifetime.

I never heard Sis. Hope sing but she would stand in honor of her favorite songs. She let me know that sometimes I sang good but other times she told me I sang to loud. And she didn’t like the tambourine to close to her. Once during service, Bishop Abbott told a joke in his sermon, everyone laugh but I noticed that Sis. Hope laughed the hardest!!! She chuckled the whole sermon. Later someone mention that the oddest thing happen, Sis. Hope asked for a copy of the sermon. She never asked for copies of sermons. They said she kept chuckling and muttering, “I just have to hear it again!” I busted out laughing, Yes. Sis. Hope bought a copy of the sermon but I seriously doubt for the sermon but more likely for the joke.

I also found out Sis. Hope liked my driving… a lot!!! One time I picked up Sis. Jolley and Sis. Hope from their home, we were running a few minutes late and I knew if I took the usual surface streets we would be late for church. So instead I asked if it was ok if I took the freeway, they said it was ok. I promise you I never went one mile over the speed limit and was extremely careful on how I drove. But when I got off the freeway, I jokingly ask the ladies if my driving scared them. Sis. Jolley said no but from the backseat I heard Sis. Hope quiet but exciting voice say, “That was fun! Can we do it again?”

I learned that Sis. Hope loved going out with the Golden Goodies, a group of the older ladies would get together and go out to eat. My Grandma was in charge and it was a blessing to these ladies. I could see Sis. Hope smiling as they spoke about it. She also simply liked just sitting with a group of people at a church event letting the chatter flow around her. She loved this church and this church loved Sis. Hope.

When my niece, Aurora was quite young, Sis. Hope was annoyed but at times Aurora crazy ways made her chuckle. She always would have to touch Aurora kinky hair if it was loose, simple amazed at it I guess. When Aurora was quite young, in the Ladies restroom there is a picture of an elderly lady holding the bible and praying. Aurora would always point and say, “Old lady!” But I would always tell her, “Yes, but she a pretty old lady, see she prays and she reads her Bible and she loves God. She a Pretty Lady!” In service during the preaching once, Aurora was on the floor playing when I heard her say, “Oooo Pretty Lady!” I look up to see her pointing at Sis. Hope, her look was of amazement, she kept repeating it. When I looked at Sis. Hope one single tear was falling down her wrinkled but smiling cheek. Aurora had seen a real live pretty lady that loved God.

When Sis. Hope was first put in the nursing home that Sunday was hard for me, my pew partner would not be there every Sunday. It was a moment of bitter sweetness for me, I knew it was for her best but I did miss her. I had been worrying about her health, I had noticed signs that were not good and I was praying that nothing bad would happen. But I miss Sis. Hope, I miss when that sometimes during service I’d hold her hand. I miss her quiet chuckle or silent honor of standing in the present of the Lord even if no one else was standing. That Sunday, I missed Sis. Hope so much.

When I heard the news that Sis. Hope didn’t have much longer I went to visit her. I had been to the bedside of many sick people, I had seen many pass from this world even held strangers in my arms so that would not die alone. Death is never a pretty thing but when a saint of God passes there is atmosphere that can only be felt and can’t be explained that is there. I felt it when I visit Sis. Hope that day.

I wasn’t sure she would remember who I was, when I asked her if she remember me, she replied in her stubborn way, “Of course I remember you.” I held her hand and asked her how she was, I expected the usual reply, “No Better and No Worst.” Or maybe even the reply that Sis. Vanessa had finally convinced her to say. “Maybe a little better, well just maybe.” But I was shock, when she replied, “Much better because you are here Jacqui.” Weather she actually remembers me or not let me just live with knowing she did.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in. Their true beauty is revealed only in there is a light from within.”

Today I may learn more about Sis. Hope then I had ever know about her. In a way, in the darkness we are now getting to see Sis. Hope light from within and getting to know Sis. Hope. But if you didn’t know you now know that Sis. Hope always wore her white sweater even in 100 degree weather, she wore high heels for longer than anyone ever expected and carried her white purse and of course we can’t forget her pick! She like singing as long as it wasn’t too loud. She LOVED Br. Abbott’s jokes, and my fast driving. She enjoyed her time with the Golden Goodies and the chatter of church get together. But most of all I finally heard her story and though the quietness it was shown not told Sis. Hope prayed, read her bible and loved God but Aurora told her story best, she was a “Pretty Lady”!

Love you Sis. Hope,

Jacqueline

He's Alive... Puppet Show!

2011-04-26T01:37:00.001-07:00

A guest to our church, recorded our Easter Puppet Show!

We used the Song, "He's Alive" sang by the Gaither Vocal Band.

This is only the 3rd time our team has preformed and for half the team it was only the 1st time they had ever done it.

Please let us know what you think!

Always,
Jacqueline

Drawn a Line in the Sand

2011-04-04T03:10:00.002-07:00

Jacqueline

Dear God, I Love You

2011-02-14T00:48:00.002-07:00

A Peace Beyond Understanding

2011-02-10T00:11:00.006-07:00

I had just finished up with a meeting and was waiting on the next. I knew it would be awhile because I had been there 3 hours and been to only 5 of the 7 meetings I need to attend. So I open up my phone to finish up my game of “Bejeweled” I had been playing. That when I notice it. I had 4 voicemails, 12 missed calls and they all were from family this was all in less than 10 minute time frame. That moment my head began to swirl, I knew something was majorly wrong, but what? I grabbed my stuff and flew out of the room as I listen to the first voicemail from my older sister, Janella. My sister was sobbing uncontrollably, as she told me to call her back right away.

As I dialed her number, my mind went reeling, what could be wrong? Was it my stepdad? My little sisters? My niece? But when my sister answered and began to tell me what was wrong, I literally fell to my knees and begin to sob uncontrollable. I felt someone had punched me in my stomach and tore out my heart, and for longest moment of my life I had felt like I had just died.

It had been my older brother, Jace, he was dead. He was only 28 years old, I had just seen him at Thanksgiving and it was only January, just a little over a month ago. How could he be gone? I knelt there on the cold sidewalk with the simple feeling like I was in a nightmare as I heard the details of his death. Jace had doing much better but in recent months, he had lost his job, started back on drugs and started going down some of his old paths. He had recently moved from Arizona to Ohio to live with my mother because we felt that he might do better out there.

On Thursday January 20th, Jace walked into his old job at Walgreens, witnesses said they could tell he was drunk and may have also been high on drugs. He talked to a costumer for sometime before approaching his old boss. When she would not speak to my brother, Jace pulled out a gun and began threaten her. Asking her to just hear him out, but she was able to get away. Police had been called to the scene and when my brother began to leave the store, he ran to the back of the store. At this point he took his own life.

This was not the first suicide in our family, 5 years before Jace’s dad, John took his life and many years before that Grandpa George committed suicide also. So the news of my brother’s death struck a knife in many hearts and old memories of past pains where once again fresh in our lives.

That night, I went to a friends’ house. I was not fit to drive so I left my car across town. I wanted to be with someone but I was torn apart that by the time I got to their house all I wanted to do was be alone. So after they fell asleep, I slid out of their house and walked just over a mile back to my apartment. When I got home, I spent several hours crying, praying and grieving till I finally cried myself asleep.

For the next couple days, I completely closed myself off from others. I would return text but not calls; I would respond to some messages on Facebook but would not respond to emails. The honest truth was I didn’t know what to tell my family, I didn’t know how to comfort others when I hurt so badly. I had thrown myself fully in the arms of Jesus and held tightly to his hands. But I could not hold others up; I didn’t know what to say. I knew deep down that Jesus was the answer but I didn’t know how to share that with them. I couldn’t hold them up, only God could, but how could I tell them that, when I was a mess? I had not lost faith that God would heal my broken heart that He would comfort me but I knew it would take time. I felt like a failure, that I was selfish cause I was trying to grieve and not minister to my family but I realize later that it wasn’t me they need to lean on, but on God.

Sunday, I was a mess still. I put on a mask to hide my real pain from others; I didn’t want other to see just how much pain I had been really feeling. At church there was such a heavy spirit of grief and pain. I told myself that even if I don’t feel like it I would worship Him through this storm. During morning service, I worship but felt nothing. I couldn’t truly focus on God all I could feel was the pain. When service was over, I told myself that I would worship though this pain if it took 100 services to do it.

Before night service and during prayer, I kept praying that God would help me. To help me get beyond my pain but if I don’t feel Him tonight I would not give up. I would keep coming back and I wouldn’t stop worshipping God no matter how long it took. Though my soul felt torn, my heart broken and my life seemed shattered I still had the smallest flicker of faith that I just knew God could do it. When service began, there was not a heavy spirit in the church. As the church began to sing, everyone began to worship God. I still didn’t fell like praising but I made myself do it. I jumped even though I didn’t feel like jumping, I raised my hand even though my arms felt heavy and I still praise God even though I felt nothing.

Then I heard God talk to me, I realized I still had been think on all the recent events. My mind was cluttered by the pain, questions and fears. But I heard God talking so softly to me, “Focus on me, I am the answer to everything.” Closing my eyes, I began to not pray about my situation, not think about the pain, and not worry about a thing. Instead, I focus on God and God alone, worshipping Him, telling Him that He was a good God and my all in all. That when something broke within me, and instantly I felt peace, I didn’t understand why, I can’t explain how, I could only tell you that I felt peace.

How do you get that peace, of course only though Jesus. When Jesus was preparing His disciples, for his death and resurrections and a life without him physically on this earth, he said in John 14:25-27 “These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither be afraid.” That peace can only come from us by the Holy Ghost. After Jesus descended up into heaven, 7 days later on the day of Pentecost (as described in Acts 2) the gift of the Holy Ghost, the Comforter, that was promised. In Acts 2:39 in mention that this promise is not just for then but to their children and to all those God calls, that promise is still for us.

Philippians 4:7 states, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds though Christ Jesus.”

There is a peace that can only come from God, which goes beyond our understanding to keep guard over one’s heart and mind but only though Jesus. We may not understand, we may never get the answer to the questions, “Why” that we ask God. We don’t get why we have to feel this pain, or how we can go on. But God can give us peace, a peace that goes beyond anything man can comprehend to allow us to go on. It is not a peace that comes from a drink, from a drug, it not even peace that come to you after time passes, but a peace that heals you from the inside out. A peace you won’t be able to explain to another person. It’s can only come from God and only God alone.

It has been less than a month since my brother’s death; I can’t say that I haven’t had hard days since that Sunday night. I was close to my brother Jace and the pain of his death is still fresh in my life. There are days that I still feel the pain, things that will make me burst in to tears and certain things that I avoid cause it makes me hurt so much, but I have peace. I may not be able to explain why but I can tell you how you can find that peace, it only from God. It is God’s Peace that is beyond understanding that guards our hearts and minds.

At Peace,

Jacqueline Suzanne

Time Out for Victory Sunday

2010-09-25T23:45:00.003-07:00

On Sunday Sept. 19th we had a time where everyone in the church wrote out there "Victory" Song about what God has done for us. It was AMAZING!!! I was fighting a battle just that day and it only got worst from there but the Song has given me strenght. I just wanted to share what I said on that Sunday...

In our songbooks, page 369 is one of our favorite songs; “All in Him” the verses are simply telling everything God is… “The mighty God is Jesus; the prince of peace is He…” All but one line in the four verses are biblically based; the song is very simple but has a strong message. When I reflected on this I began to hope I could write down something simple but with a strong message

I must admit I struggled a lot to try to figure out how to write: psalms or song, a poem or anything in that matter. I thought somehow I would be inspired to write something like God had done for me in the past. But as the week wore on I began to write down things Jesus was to me. As the list grew I realized this was my “Victory Song” what God is to me, this may be simple but when I look at this list almost every line I could share a story. I guess in the simplicity of it all to me it so much deeper. Just like in the song "All in Him" that uses what God is to us in way the list is similar to what God is to me but in my own words.

My Ever-Present Father
My Provider
The Reason I Sing
My Passion
My Comfort in Pain
My Healer
Always by my side
Light in the Darkness
You Hold Me
You are Good
My Very Best Friend
My Savior
My Inspiration
The Greatest Happiness
My Strength
Fixer of Broken Hearts
My Purifier
Worthy of So Much More
Simply Amazing
A Promise Keeper
The Silent Words in Speechlessness
My All in All
The Unexplained
My First Love
My Prince Charming
My Dreams Come True

Loving God,

Jacqueline Suzanne

OVER

2010-08-29T01:41:00.003-07:00

Have you ever felt over? Been so overtired that you feel like you would fall over? Been overcommitted and just overwhelmed at the rain cloud over your head? Overstressed, that anything might push you over the edge, especially if someone says “just get over it.” Even though you know things are not even close to being over!

You see there is something even better than you can find over the rainbow. Your help can come riding over the hills, your Savior, Jesus shouting, “I have overcome the world.” That’s when you realize you can overcome by the blood of the Lamb.

You can turn over a new leaf and start over again. His mercy and strength overflowing your soul, then very soon on your face a smile spreads over your face and tears of joy over flood your eyes. Jesus can overtake your enemies, as the battle goes on but remember the war is already over! Jesus has already conquered over sin & death.

One day you will cross over Jordon and be overwhelmed when you hear the words, “Well done!” You will be happy to hand over your crown to the King of kings and Lord of lords, then that when you truly get to live happily ever after, over in the great beyond.

Now the story is not quite over, just one last thing to place over your heart. Remember, God is always watching over you.

Just over here,
Jacqueline

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Sunday School

2010-08-09T05:15:00.005-07:00

Br. Meyers preached our Back to School ralley tonight and did a totally awesome job! Made me want to actually get excited about going back to school if I actually do sign up for classes!!! Anyways, have you ever read that story about Everything I ever need to know I learned in Kindergarten? Instead I learn I find more out in church and sunday school then I need to know in church. The following is basically a recap of Br. Meyer's incredible message but in poem form! This ~ as always ~ is rough draft but I never could wait for the final draft to post it! I get to excited. So let me know what you think! I'm still doing little switchs here and there! Jacqueline

Everything I need to Know I Learned in Sunday School

From kindergarten to twelfth grade, no matter where I went to school
My teachers would teach me all kinds of things, so I would not be a fool

Science, math, history, my ABC’s and 123’s and even how to spell
If we were good we might have time for fun before they’d ring the bell

But as the years have past, and I have learned that things were not always fact
That the things that I learned in Sunday school would keep my life intact

Those lessons learned, and songs were song and even crafts that I made
Taught me things I would rather use, and things I’d never trade

‘Cause they were taught from the holy book which words that are always pure
To take you though time when even logic and facts simply become obscured

So let see what we have learned and see what’s false and what’s true
When it all though and things are done you might learn a thing or two

In Art, it was about the mix of colors and how you can create a perfect flow
But why does a black heart, washed in red blood always turns white as snow

It seems in Science this hairy monkey was some kind of kin of mine
But I have learned, I have a Great Creator with a perfect design

In Economics, it is all about how that I can simply invest
But I have learned to give my 10 percent, I will always be blessed

In Math class, one plus one plus one should always equal three
Add the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and only One God is revealed to me

In History is about keeping the past, always present in our minds
But at a cross of Calvary, I have learned I can leave my past behind

In Physics, it was Law of Gravity, and what Sir Newton had to say
But I have learned when the trumpet sounds I will fly away

I have more understanding then all my teachers could ever show to me
When I read my bible, revelation can come, when I get down on my knee

So you may be a straight A student or not quite make the grade
But what you learned in Sunday School never ever will it fade

July 21-23, 2010

2010-07-27T17:14:00.008-07:00

I'm starting to believe that July 21st, 22nd & 23rd has changed the course of history for Apostolic Young People. I believe that week will go down as the most life changing, convicting, callings, and more then could ever be put down on paper or in a blog.

The reports from two youth conferences that occurred this past week are amazing!!! I can only cry and thank God. Most can't even express what happened, most just burst into tears and those who weren't there can see unbelievable changes in not just youth but all those who attendent.

What can I tell you about last week, well I can't even begin to share it. In fact, I don't even know how to express it. I feel at peace, clean, changed, all around amazing! My coworkers saw a major change in me, and could not stop saying just at how at peace I looked. How I looked... "Well Amazing in a way I don't understand." was what one coworker said about me.

I do know, our youth can testify just how amazing it was, they were restored, refreshed, and ssssoooo much more. We can also testify that God healed one of the girls from our church that either severaly injured or maybe even fractured her wrist but was healed after us young ladies laid hands on her in the hotel and said a simple prayer. I'm telling you, it was a MIRACLE!!!!

I'd love to hear what God had done for you either at Heritage in Colorado Springs, CO or at PEAK in Tulsa, OK.

God Bless,

Jacqueline

When God Lays a Burden on Your Heart…He Will Always Make a Way!

2010-07-12T04:34:00.008-07:00

It was career week over 12 years ago, the place; freshman English, the project; our future career and me with a whole lot more guts & faith then I seem to have now. I stood before my class; I was a new convert, been in church maybe 6 months at this time but more likely less time. I can still see my report so vividly in my mind, I remember the desire I felt and the amount of faith that was so overwhelming. My career choice was a bold one, one that I would question over the next several years and maybe even for years to come. It took guts to stand before my peers and share this, it was not the easy path or the path well liked but it was my dream, my burden, my desire. So I began my introduction like this,

“My career choice is to be a missionary to Africa.”

It would be over the next several years that an opportunity would be placed before me to go to Africa, but every time the door would close. Youth mission trips, personal invitations by missionaries, and other chances. I would keep in touch with missionaries, I had several MK friends but over time we lost touch. It began to feel like my dream slipped though my hands. Before long it was a dream of my past, something that I forgot about and laid aside for a time. The only time it would flutter so strongly in my heart was when I hear the stories Bro. & Sis. Ikerd would share former missionaries to South Africa and surrounding countries. I would push it aside knowing I would not have a chance.

I don’t remember the first time I had met them, my best friend, Mary had already started working with several of the ladies and then they began to come to church. The ladies then the kids, they were African refugees. Slowly their dark chocolate eyes, melting smiles, wild energy, and tenders hearts, the children had begun bring back that desire.

I began to pick them up for church, stuffing several children in my little beat up old Toyota with no a/c in the middle of a blazing Phoenix summer.

I would kneel down to their level and beg for sweaty smelly hugs & messy kisses

. I was able to look past the dirty clothes, mismatched outfits, and barefoot feet and see a soul in need. I would teach them about God and teach them kid’s songs; they would teach me words in Swahili and songs in their language. I would talk to them about problems and they would play with my hair attempting to braid it.

One kid’s church service I was asked to do an object lesson, after much prayer I kept having an old song go though my head, “I am a promise, I am a possibility, I am a promise with a capital P…” An idea came though my mind and with the help of my friend Elizabeth we put it together. I took the pictures of the Sunday school kids and church kids and told the kids to imagine with me. I told them I had gone into the future with Elizabeth and her and I took pictures of the kids as adults. We had simply Photoshop the kids doing great things for the Lord. Showing they had the potential of being anything they want but if the do it for the Lord, no matter how small of a deed that if they did for the Lord is was a great thing.

For weeks the kids talk about how when they get older they will do great things for the Lord.

They talk about being missionaries, bus drivers, kitchen help, pastors, construction workers building churches and so much more. Most of all the adults cried when they saw the potential that each child had, and the investment they could be apart of.

After every one of the little African children received the Holy Ghost or be baptized, I would cry long into the night, Thank God for His goodness and grace. I watched as they spoke in tongues and have such joy! I held them as they cried & prayed in my arms! I felt at such peace in those moments.

When I couldn’t go to Africa, God brought Africa to me.

Now here I am, 12 years later from when I stood before my classmates and declared I would be a missionary to Africa. I’m working with African refugees, my little babies, I feel at peace but God began to tug at my heart once again. I want to go to Africa, I want to walk where my little ones ran from, and I want to reach out to those who are in need of a Savior.

Does this mean I’m packing everything and heading for the mission field, I haven’t felt that calling yet? I do feel another tug, a short mission’s trip; a couple weeks maybe even a month. What part of Africa? I don’t know. But God showed me something today, Am I ready? Do I have the faith like I did 12 years ago? Are you ready to take up your dreams once again?

You may spend a lot of time waiting for God to open the door of opportunity, but the really question is... what are you doing while you wait? Will your bags be packed when that door is opened?

So that what I’m going to do! I’m going to start packing, well not literally but I’m going to get ready for that door to be wide open once again. I’m getting my passport, start getting all my shots to go to Africa, saving money and all the other details. So when that door is open there I will be experience with working with my little African refugees and traveled ready! I may not have been ready before but now I’m going to get ready for what God has in store!

Packing my bags for Africa,

Jacqueline

15 years ago today...

2010-05-26T23:49:00.001-07:00

I recieved the greatest gift ever...

The gift of the Holy Ghost!!!

Jacqueline

♥Jesus Loves You So! ♥

2010-05-19T03:45:00.002-07:00

Jesus Loves You! You’ve probably heard this a million times, seen it on bumper stickers and maybe even said it many times yourself. The words are so simple but have such a meaning. One of the most well known children song is Jesus Loves Me. Kids from all around the world have learned this song. But have you ever really thought about it. Jesus LOVES you! If you grown up in the truth this may seem simple concept but the world has made the word “Love” a word that easily flung around. Some use it in its true fashion but other use it take advantage, hurt, cause pain or so much more, till Love is Hate disguised in a Fake Red Heart that means nothing.

A bumper sticker reads… “Jesus Loves you and everyone else hate you”. We were challenge at our church to show the love of Jesus. But how do we show such love, how can they feel it when they come it to our church, or meet us on the street? This has been going through my mind a lot lately. So I began to just think, what did Jesus did on this earth that showed love to the people.

He was a people person. Even if you’re shy, quiet or even backwards, you have to push yourself to be a people person. It doesn’t take much, show interested in people; find a link that connects you to that person. But simple things make you easier to approach; smiling, making eye contact, simple greetings of Hello, and waiting or listening to the response. You don’t have to be crazy friendly to be a people person.

He reached out to people when they were in need. It so easy to pass by when someone is in need, the excuses come easy enough, I’m too busy, I don’t know what to do, I don’t have extra money and the list goes on. To be honest, many times you can’t help them, BUT you can introduce them to someone who can. Sometimes, God use you to help them, and you become a blessing. Sometimes, it simply listening to their needs, praying with and for them and God will take care of their needs, how he seems fit.

He touched the untouchable. Remember the leper who came before Jesus, Jesus first touched him which was not acceptable in that time, causing Jesus to be “unclean” according to tradition. Plus he took the chance he would catch the deadly disease. But how can Jesus be unclean, if he healed and made the leper whole again? How do you apply this to now? I thought on this and something came to mind… my Sunday school kids. Most would never ever consider coming near these kids, to be honest, they usually were dirty, their clothes not washed, snot running down their noises, they have had ring worm, lice and other unpleasant things. But every time I see them, I give them big hugs and kisses, I let as many as I can fit sit in my lap. I don’t care if I have stuff on my shirt when I’m done or if the smell is unbearable. I want to show these love starved children, that I love them. If I do, maybe though me they can truly understand the love of Jesus!

These are only a few things Jesus does, I could go on and on, but I want to show one last point. On Sunday, my pastor preached a message about Absolutes. His last point was simple, Jesus Loves You! No matter what happens, what you do, how long it takes He wants you to not just know but understand that Jesus LOVES you!!! When Br. Abbott got to this part of his message, a tune then words came to mind, I began to scribble on an envelope the words and by the time alter call was over I had written a song. The verses borrowed from two famous kids songs but sang to a new tune with a bridge is sing in the original way. My hope is that it not just a pretty song, but people think about it meaning… It called “Jesus Loves You So” But the first line of the chorus simply asks a question “Do you know that Jesus loves you so?” The question is… Do you REALLY know that Jesus loves you so?

Chorus
Do you know that Jesus loves you so?
Have you read the Bible lets you know?
On the cross of Calvary
Jesus died for you and me
But do you know that Jesus loves you so?

Verse 1
Children sing the songs and the words
Jesus loves the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight
But do you know that Jesus loves you so?

Verse 2
Jesus loves, he who died for thee
Heaven’s gates are open wide you see
He will wash away your sin
Let his little child come in
But do you know that Jesus loves you so?

Bridge & Ending
Yes, Jesus loves me
Oh Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so
But do you know that Jesus loves you so?

Jesus love you so much,
Jacqueline

To be a mom.. Or what I've learned.

2010-05-09T03:36:00.004-07:00

“I don’t want to be a mom!” she said, “It too much work!!!” I looked at her in shock, “Not want to be a mom??” I replied, “that my dream job!!!” Now she looked at me strangely, she was young still in her early teens! “All those dirty diapers, no sleep, not to mention 9 months of misery with stretch marks and not even mentioning labor! I’m telling you it not worth it!” Being the older and wiser one, I simple mumbled, “Yeah whatever you’ll feel different when you’re older.” And I think she did, cause she end up growing up getting married young and well she on baby #2 now!

To be a mom, what is it like, well I won’t know! I’m not a mom!!! But I love observing people, in fact you could say it a hobby. I’ve watch people over the years; I also love talking to people. I don’t care what age you are, kids to the elderly I just enjoy people!! But some of my favorite people to talk to are my peer’s parents, to some of my friend’s utter wonder why I’d rather sit and talk to a bunch of moms then hang out with them. Why, because I see such wisdom in them, I see their kids who are decent kids, and I wonder how they did it.

It those moms I hope to pattern my life after one day, when I have my own kiddies to take care of. This is what I have observed, though the years, these are no particular order but what I’ve noticed.

~*~ They love their children. Simply that, whether they are simply giving a hug, saying I love you or disciplining them, they always do it in love.

~*~They are there for their children. I’ve gotten to know these mothers because they usually are at the events with their children. They watch out and are simply there for them. Not smothering like some kids think but simple there.

~*~They take their kids to church. If the doors are open their there. They take them to church events, camps, conferences, youth events, bible quizzing, and whatever they can get them too.

~*~They expect nothing in return. Oh there times, they want a something but the price isn’t much, a hug, a call home, an “I love you Mom.” They sacrifice much and expect nothing.

~*~They dream for their children. They dream that their kids will do great things. They are their children’s biggest cheerleaders and fans!

~*~They fight for their children. They fight for what right.

~*~They pray for their children.

I have no idea if I can be half a mom these ladies I’ve learn after but I pray I can be. My dream job is not a corporate one or my own business someday. My dream job is being a mom one day. I’ll take on it all; give me 9 months of carrying a child with in me. Give me the morning sickness, stretch marks and the extra weight gain! By God’s grace I can take on the labor pains, the sleepless nights and endless diapers. I want the terrible twos; million question whys, and time outs and spankings. Give me the preteen’s years and the teen years and all that comes with it. Give me the times, I let my child go and the empty nest feeling and so on and so forth. Give me the days when it seems no one noticed all the work I’ve done, give me sleepless nights and endless prayers. Give me these times; give me the times I wonder if I’m doing a good job. Because all these moms that I have met that have such wonderful children are content, happy and satisfied to a measure I’ve never understood. Because it’s that moment, when no one looking that my child will make it worth it all, when they tell me I love you mommy, or when they start serving God, that when I will understand what it like to be a mom.

Happy Mother's Day

Jacqueline

Even more then I have imagined!

2010-04-21T03:01:00.005-07:00

For years I drove by this house, and for years I would drive by and claim it in Jesus' Name!!! I loved the look of it, looked like a house out of a fairytale book only Arizona style! The place was always very nice and to be honest I have never seen a person stirring about. You could almost miss it if your not pay attention because it far back from the road but when you see it well it always got ooohs and awes. Bellissima Farm was it name and one day I always said it would be mine!

So when I saw it was for sale one day, I had to look it up! I knew it would be online but it took some time to find it. The first picture took my breath away, I had seen the house for years but I had never really seen it up close. WOW!!! The price I some how expected but it still amazed me. It had 7715 sq ft of living space, 10 ac. totally enclosed, gated and private drive way. The main house had 3 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms plus attached 2 bedroom/ 2 bathroom guest house (with it own kitchen too!) This place had more crown molding everywhere, wood and ceramic flooring, custom design everything! It has a kitchen bigger then my first apartment that just plain gorgeous! I has the following a living room, former dining room, family room, den, library, kitchen, laundry room, Master bedroom & bathroom, 2 bedrooms upstairs, plus the guest house, just to name a few things. That just the house! It has a pool, room to hold 25+ horses in style, your own shop garage, show case garage, 125+ fruit trees. Shall I go on?!?!?

The property was more then I had every imagined, it was bigger then most the properties in the area. Even though I joked about owning the house one day, if I ever did I honestly would not know what to do with such a big house! I had driven by it hundreds of times, and dreamed of visiting it just once but I still can't believe the size of it. Even the description and pictures makes it hard for me to believe it!

I was thinking about the book of Revelation the other day and how it describes heaven. No matter how much I try to imagine this place my little mind can not wrap it around the description. It nearly as big as the USA in length, depth & height, streets made of gold, precious stones making up 12 foundations, a single pearl making up just one of the gates. Can I get a WOW!!! Plus I will have my own mansion up there, custom made for me! Because God knows me better then me, so who better to design a mansion for me then Him! I know it going to be even better then Bellissima Farm. I can't wait to see it because I know it will be even more then I have imagined!

♥Jacqueline♥

I am a musician but not your typical one.

2010-03-31T04:18:00.006-07:00

I am a musician, but not your typical one.

I learn to play the keyboard,

but while I play it to most it does not sound like music.

My music can inspire others;

it can make you laugh or cry,

make you think or dream,

it can be passed on or kept.

Sometimes when I am inspired

my fingers dance to keep up.

The deaf are able to hear the music,

the blind to see it,

the wise will find wisdom in it

and the child can easily understand also.

If I am good

long past my dying day,

my music can be heard.

I am a musician,

not your typical one

because

I am a writer!

~*~*~*~

Jacqueline Suzanne

My Little Mustard Seed of Faith!!!

2010-03-28T03:28:00.007-07:00

The other day while at work, God seemed to show me to apply for a position at work that it just didn't seem I had a chance to even get. I kinda argued with in, thinking, I don't have a chance, I doubt I'd even get an interview. These scriptures Matthew 17:20 & Luke 17:6 came to mind...

"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

"And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you."

Then all of sudden I had this visual of a Little Mustard Seed jumping around with pom-poms saying, "Have a little faith! Give me a F-A-I-T-H! Gggggooooo Faith!!!" I must say I nearly laughed out loud thinking about it. Well so I decided to "draw" you my Little Mustard Seed of Faith

Remember above all, Never Loose Faith or My Little Mustard Seed of Faith!!!

Jacqueline

But Just Only For a Moment

2010-01-30T07:36:00.005-07:00

He had everything I wanted; I mean everything I had only dreamed possible. Not only that, it was all given to him on a silver platter. I had looked up to him, I was amazed at his desire and I wish I could just have a piece of what he had. So when I came in contact with him after several years, I have to admit for one solid moment I was jealous but only for a moment.

What was it that made me so green with envy? Where do I start? First of all, he had an awesome family! Parents that where together, that loved him and raised him in a loving home. He had the coolest siblings, and they seemed they never fight and got along great. He was rich; his parents could easily pay for almost anything. He never was left needing and always had the best. He was tall & handsome, but sweet & not full of himself, all the girls admire him.

That was only a few things, but he had more. He wanted to be a doctor, a desire for medicine. He was smart, and had his choice in any school. He was able to focus mainly on school and not worry about paying for anything. He had desired, to go on medical mission trips to help those who were not just hurting physically but spiritual too.

He had a heritage, a strong deep One God Apostolic Pentecostal Heritage. A history of strong preachers, he was raised in this truth. He had gone to church since he was born. He had sat under some of the best preaching, he was able to go to conferences around the country. He had a soft heart towards God and had desired to go into the ministry. He had everything, and every opportunity to do what he desired.

Then there was me, my family was dysfunctional with a capital D. My siblings and I fought constantly, and my parents were split with a nasty divorce. I had moved so much that I never knew on place as home and the gaps in my education were horrible. I struggle in school so much I barely finish high school. I had to pay my own bills, fend for myself and pay for my own college. I had to drop out so I could work in order to pay bills and my dreams of a doctor degree faded in the hopes of just receiving my RN degree instead. I was average looking, and most did not turn heads to look at me but at my beautiful friends. I had chosen to live for God, against my families wishes and served Him alone.

So when I saw him after several years at a family get together for only a moment I was jealous. He was now a doctor, doing his internship, his parents paid for his schooling, his apartment, car and everything so he could focus on his degree. He was just as charming as before and just as handsome. But I wouldn’t want to trade places with him for the world, in fact that what he trade his life in for, this world. He had turned his back on God, trade a life with Jesus for a doctor’s degree. He traded all the promises of God for the lies of the Devil.

When I look into his eyes, I saw the look of the world, sorrow, pain, anguish, anger and so much more. A scripture came to mind almost immediately. Matt 16:26, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” I may not have a whole lot; I may not be able to ever become a doctor or even a Nurse. I may not have a lot in this world, drive a broken down car, work pay check to pay check. I might look poor to this world but if you have Jesus you have more then you anyone in this world.

The very next Sunday my aunt sang her trademark song. I love this song but this Sunday it really touched my heart. You see I could have had so much if I wanted too but why when I had everything this world doesn’t have. Would I trade it, no not to be a doctor or for money or fame or anything, I just won’t trade.

“I won’t trade Him for silver and gold
I won’t trade Him for riches untold
For my Jesus means so much to me
I won’t trade Him for anything.”

Not worth the trade,

Jacqueline Suzanne

The Marshal of Phoenix

2010-01-23T03:09:00.004-07:00

It was a dark and stormy night when panic hit the city of Phoenix! Mothers huddle their children in close, fathers look out window for danger. Those brave souls went out to retrieve supplies where both reprimanded and praised for their bravery. School houses cancelled classes; people stayed indoors; and the local reporters attempted to cover every detail of this breaking story. What had this city in utter chaos? Yet, it true, Rain had come to town.

Rain to Phoenix comes into town like an outlaw itching for some fun. He saddles up its gray as the skies colored horse, and rides into town quick on the heels of Wind. Wing, who always was a fast one enjoys stirring up the dust down the streets of Phoenix. Thunder & Lightning, the outlaw twins usually liven up things, whooping and hollering, shooting up the town as if they had no care in the world. Rain is more subdued but this outlaw is not one to mess with. He would belly up to the bar, and gaze from under his black cowboy hat that is worn low to block the sun from his eyes. His deep blue eyes with stare piercing looks into bartender frighten ones, and gruffly ask, “Give me a drink, this dry town makes me thirsty. The frighten bartender, knew exactly what Rain wanted, water on the rocks. Rain quickly downed it, and it was refilled just as quickly.

“Where was the Marshal?” The people asked. Many years ago, Sun was given the responsibility of watching over the town of Phoenix. He was a good marshal, sometimes he seems harsh and hot headed but he would always cool off. The town’s people loved him so much they nickname their town, “The Valley of the Sun”. Sun, was a good at letting the Drifter clouds know that they were not welcome, and often asked to blow out of town as quickly as they came. Most never questioned and most learn to avoid the city all together.

When Rain came to town, he sometimes came in almost so quietly that most never realize he had drifted through, leaving very little proof he had been there. Yet, when his outlaw buddies came you could hear and see them coming for miles. Rain had his belly full of drinks, that when rain was ready for some fun. This stuff up dried up town was too much for Rain and he enjoyed stirring things up. Wind was always happy to help, moving things around, knocking things over. Thunder liked to watch people shake at his sound and Lighting enjoy watching the people dance around him. Rain, well he like to affect everyone~ He may just pitter and patter around sometimes, yet this outlaw can really pour down upon them and he won seem to stop at other times.

It was closing in on high noon, a couple days later, when Marshal came down Central. His shining spurs stomp through the mud and puddles, the sound of the clicking could be heard as he walks down the deserted streets. The Marshal stopped, as a brawl of Thunder & Lightning came tumbling out of the saloon, Wind quickly following howling at the fun, and Rain came trickling behind. The fight came to a stop when Wind whispered to the twins, as all eyes turn to the shining Marshal, the two on the ground stood facing this famous one, and Wind brush the dirt off his hands so they could be ready. Rain, well Rain was always read and keen as a fox.

Marshal Sun eyed the first three outlaws that stood before him, “What did I say about coming to this town?” Marshal said quietly, “Wind, just as fast as your blew into town, I want you to blow right on out.” Wind glared, but he knew better then to mess around so he turned and left in a whirlwind. “They say the Thunder rolls so why doesn’t your roll on out and Lightning, why don’t you strike this town from your list.” Marshall spoke a little louder this time.

“Why should we listen to you?” Lightning dared as a sneer flashed across his face. The Marshal had already been walking towards the twins and step up close to Lightning face, he simply tap his figures on Lightning’s forehead.

“Lightning, your sometimes have a stroke of genius but sir, I think you shorted out something upstairs.” Before Lightning could strike back, Thunder grabbed his shoulder and rumbled about how it was time to roll on out.

When the other three outlaws had left, Sun had turned to face Rain. Their eyes locked, these two were like night & day. One was dark and quiet at times, the other bright and friendly. Yet, both were fast at the draw. They were equally powerful, and like each other in many ways. Many wonder what would happen in a standoff between the two. It would more likely be a Mexican standoff when neither would come out alive. Silence grew around them; would one dare to break the silence? A hand slipped out, and another followed just as closely.

“Thank you my friend,” said Sun in a bright voice. “Thank you for coming.”

“Anytime,” Rain said coolly, as their hand grasped, Rain pulled Sun into a hug. “But don’t be a stranger in my neck of the woods. It seems you’re always very welcomed and never get up North like you use too.”

“I know this town keeps me on my toes, sometimes it gets down right hot around her with all the pressure.” The Marshall responded, “Next time, don’t bring your friends they can really get carried away. This town will have a mess to clean up after them.”

“I know they saw me coming and they always come in before me. They are good kids, but need some work. Wind has been hanging out with the Outlaw from Oklahoma, Tornado, that just a whirlwind of trouble.”

“Well we just have to keep them in line won’t we?” Sun escorted Rain to the edge of town; they parted friends with promises to visit one another again.

The Marshall was considered a hero once again; most thinking he had chased Rain out of town. What the people didn’t know is that Rain was a welcome guest to Sun for this dry old town & invitations were often sent. You see Rain wasn’t really an outlaw, he was a hard worker up North and his hard work could be seen along the hills and valleys. Marshall wanted Rain to come in, he seem to wash this city up, and did a lot of good too. Oh yes, he could over do it at times, but he had over done it too. Rain’s friends might stir things up and make some noise but most of the time they were harmless if you stayed out of their way.

Marshal Sun crept down the streets of Phoenix, surveying what damage had been done. He began by warming the hearts of this people, drying up the streets and brightening the day. After a long day, Marshall back in his office picked up a newspaper that sat on his desk, and read the headline. “Marshal Out shines the Outlaws Once Again!” A bright smile crept across his face as he thought, “If they only knew.”

Jacqueline

*Note from the Author* With a love for western, and been listening to Louis L'Amours book on CD lately, I was caught indoors by a wonderful desert rain storm. We had been anticipating this storm for about a week around Phoenix. Growing up in Ohio, this storm would be considered a normal summer rain storm for Ohio, yet Arizona seem to be panicing. Cause of little rain in Arizona, the ground often has trouble absorbing the water so flooding was normal. Oh yes, we had flooding, some high winds and lots of snow up north but really nothing to freak out about. I enjoy laughing at others when they act like people on earth when the rain came down in the days of Noah. You would think they had never seen it before. So with a little inspiration from good old Louie, and a beautiful rainy day, I began writing this story. I hope that this helps Phoenix people to realize, hey Rain isn't really that bad infact it kinda good for you!

What do you mean its over?!?!?

2010-01-04T16:21:00.002-07:00

What do you mean it’s over?!?!? It just happened and you’re already taking down the decorations. I know they have been up since the end of November but really so soon? You barely have finished assembling the “Only 10 easy minutes to assemble” toy of your child that took you days to figure out. Beside the kids haven’t finished playing will all the boxes and wrapping paper rolls yet… I mean toys that you bought for them.

Come on stores I mean why take down the Christmas decoration that you put up while the summer heat was still upon us. And the music I know I complained that if I heard “Jingle Bells” one more time that I would gladly swallow a whole box of bells! Yet what I would give to hear it one more time. Now all the cheer is seeing Christmas Clearance items, throwing it aside like you haven’t counted the days for months till that day! I know your tired from all the last minute shoppers but I miss you some how wishing even the grumpiest shopper a Merry Christmas!

Red I know isn’t my favorite color but to pack away my red Christmas sweater from Great Aunt Edna, yeah that one I had made fun of the other day when we went shopping. Yes, that one I said I would rather be hanging by my toes in the middle of the town square with tar and feathers on me then be caught in that thing. Hey I kinda like it now not so willing to put it away yet. It’s warm and cozy, besides how many sweaters can you find that have a reindeer that had a flashing red noise, bells and sings “Jingle Bells”, it’s a one of a kind.

Take down the Christmas lights, your dreaming I nearly broke my neck trying to put those up. I almost fell off the roof, ladder and almost tripped over the boxes. Untangling the lights was a story all on its own. Then making sure all of them worked correctly, out of 22 strings only 3 work, much better than last year when 35 strings and only 1 had worked. Then spending 8 hours at the store on which will be the best lights to put up. White, blue, red ,colored, blinking, icicles, then theirs white icicles, colored icicles, blinking red and green icicles, colored blinking icicles then you get those fancy looped looking things that never look as good as the box just to name a few. Then the Staple gun, I only stapled my thumb 6 times. Poor mailman, last I heard he is wearing a patch on one eye and is back to work. He asked to change routes they haven’t found anyone to deliver my mail yet.

Don’t we have at least one more practice till the pageant? You can’t say all the rushed practices are over. I know we crammed all those lines in those little kids head but surely we have more time. I was surprised we had enough bathrobes for the shepherds, good thing you let them borrow your husband’s robe, were you able to get all the hay off of it? Those Angels are crying because their halos are falling off. Oh and Mary is still blushing cause she has to walk with Joseph. And the wise men only tripped on their robes a few times. The pageant is barely over some how it ran smoothly. Maybe I’m not so upset about that being over!

Sigh, I’m not ready for Christmas to be over. I know it will be around again before I know it when everyone gets Christmas fever in July and starts singing “Winter Wonderland”. I know that stores will start putting up their decorations and count down the days scaring us on how many days left till Christmas, two hundred days before the holiday. Yet I’m not ready for Christmas to be over yet! So Merry Christmas to All and to all have a Good Night, (even if it too late or too early!)

Till Next Time,
Jacqueline

Lonely Christmas Night

2009-12-24T05:49:00.002-07:00

I stretch my back and stop for just a moment, looking at the sign. I had gone 2 miles and still had one more mile to go. I readjusted my book bag and started off. It was Christmas week and all had gone wrong. My car was in the shop, I lost my phone on the bus and in the evenings I had to walk 3 miles to catch the closest bus. I was tired, cold and nearly in tears. Without a car I would not make it to the annual Christmas Eve party with my aunts, uncles, & cousins, in a way I was sadden at it all. I was too broke to give even a small gift to my niece and even thought for the first year in history I actually had all my Christmas cards delivered on time, I really wasn’t in the Christmas mood.

A car flew by honking there horn made me jump, even though the horn was not directed at me a flood of tears came rushing down my face. I had no desire to wipe them away and let them fall on my scarf as I tried to snuggle down lower into its warmth. At that moment I wish this week would just be over.

I had never wished that, I usually was the one bouncing around during the holidays. I was the one wanting to put up lights, decorating everything, buying gifts, wrapping each one and adding a special touch to each. There were the Christmas songs that I knew by heart & sang on the top of my lungs, I loved the plays no matter how corny or silly. There I was wallowing in self-pity because I had to walk in the cold only three miles, that I wasn’t with family even though I saw them several times a week, and without a phone to call anyone to add company to my misery.

It occurred to me at that moment, Joseph & Mary. Mary was pregnant and very far along and they had to walk everywhere. Joseph had to travel and protect his family and fend for them as they went. They had to travel many miles to the city of David, Bethlehem. They had no family or friends to welcome them when they arrived. They had no warm bed to sleep in, or good food to eat. Instead they had a dirty barn that they shared with animals.

Mary was to give birth. She had no help from her family, no one to celebrate the birth. She only had a bewildered husband. She was giving birth to not just any child but the Messiah. The King of kings and Lord of lords, he was God Almighty wrapped in the form of a child. This child deserved the best, the best doctors, the finest silks, and a royal crown placed on is small brow, but instead he had a manger, rags for clothes and hay to keep him warm.

It was not a Silent Night; dirty Sheppard came running into the city nearly insane with the sight they had beheld in the sky. Wise men came trotting following a star. Mary & Joseph had complete strangers celebrating the birth of their child. They were led to leave the city and go to Egypt. They would not go home to celebrate the birth with family either, they would have to flee for the sake of their first born.

I can imagine that the very first Christmas had to be a very lonely time for them, for Joseph & Mary. Many tears must have fallen during that time; the loneliness must have overwhelmed them. Here I was upset I had to only walk 3 miles before getting on to a warm bus, traveling to my good job where I would have a free warm lunch.

There was more, Joseph & Mary had something more, they weren’t alone. In fact they had the greatest gift ever. They were not alone; they had their creator living right with them. They got to hold him in their hands. Tears just stream down my face as I walked. See you never alone at Christmas, no matter where you are or what happening. In a crowded room, by yourself at home or walking three miles to the nearest bus stop in the cold. You see when the first Christmas happens, it was Emmanuel that came, which means God with us. When you have Jesus in your life, you can never be alone any day and especially not on Christmas day.

MASH!

2009-12-16T01:47:00.004-07:00

Do you remember M.A.S.H!? The game that most girls played when they were a tweens and teenager that game that would decide your future? Oh yes, you would put down names of guys that you were “In Love” with or would one day like to marry. You would pick your future cars, how many kids, your future jobs. Then if you really want you would put your wedding colors, what month you would be married, where you would live, what your husband’s occupancy would be and before you knew it you would have a huge list. Then your friend would make a swirl or lines till you tell them to stop this deciding the number. Slowly you would count off. You either sigh a bit of relief when certain things would be marked off or saddened as your “One True Love” was marked off! When all is said and done your future would be decided for you. With either great delight or fear and prayers it won’t come true.

I remember how much fun it was as a teen to play MASH! I believe it was my best friend Mary who first taught me this game. Hours we would play until our perfect future was finally laid before us. We played it anywhere and anytime, Mary even scrapbooked one of her MASH games that had been written on a paper napkin. Sleepovers, trips and especially if we had a new crush for the week! We added fun to the game by having the one pick the first 3 and friends picking the fourth choice, which usually was answered by groans! With my teen years behind me and being in my mid 20’s now, MASH isn’t the same. The last time I had played it, had to be about 2 years ago and to be honest it wasn’t as cool anymore.

“Sister, do you know how to play SMASH?” The cute little 10 year old girl asked me, pointing to the chalkboard. I was an assistant teacher for the Kid’s praise class at the local bible college. Several of her friends where making some type of grid on the board. Taking a closer look, I finally understood what these young girls were trying to play.

“Do you mean MASH?” I replied, she nodded her head and I smiled. I grabbed my notebook and began writing out one of the simpler version of MASH. Before I knew it, I was in circled by several little tweens girls who eagerly looked on to see their future laid out before them. I laughed and giggled and even anguished with the group as we played. I knew several of the boys they hoped to marry from being a counselor at Jr. Camp. I nearly laugh till tears came out as I hear what they hope to grow up to be. One girl told me with glowing eyes she wanted to work for a fancy hotel, when I told her I worked at a fancy hotel she was in awe! I laughed at their choices in cars, how many kids (3 million was one girls choice LOL) and how the described their dream homes.

“Sister, it’s your turn, it’s your turn!” The girls look eagerly at me to see my future through MASH.

“Ok fine, but I’m going to make you girls choice everything!” I replied. I was giggling so hard as they decided my future job, car and how many kids I would have, but when they picked out the guys my side hurt from laughing. First, I had to tell them they have to be older close to my age. I only got blank stares as they told me that they knew no one that old. Their first choices were boys about 12 to 14 years old, I made them re-decided and finally we got to about age 18 and 19 years old which I figure was as good as I could get from these 10 and 11 year olds!

After doing the swirl and finding my number out, I began the countdown. I must say this was the first time in many years that I nearly held my breath as my future was decided. We laughed and anguished over each items were either left or scratch off. When it was all done, I laughed, the mother of the boy that was to be my “future” husband was sitting there. We laughed together as the girls teased and taunted me about my life. I must admit it wasn’t half bad or maybe kinda bad LOL, I had a good job as a nurse, a lovely shack, 3 kids and own a red little wagon, well except the boy I was to marry! LOL

When I walked out of class, the girls even though I told them not to tell had already told half the people standing around about my future life according to MASH! I had to laugh, but it was kinda cool to play MASH one more time like when I was a teenager! Giggling, anguishing, hoping and laughing, I know MASH will not decide my future I do think it’s kinda fun still!!!

Jacqueline

PS. Yeap and I did include the game! LOL The boy's names being removed! LOL

Politically Correct Christmas... I Mean Holiday Report

2009-12-05T23:54:00.003-07:00

NEWS FLASH - The Politically Correct Police have stormed the country this Christmas… Holiday. Watch out they may invade you town at anytime! If you don’t want to persecute or possibly offend someone else, we advise you at this time to do the following. Please remove all “Christmas” from all your Holiday display. The word has “Christ” in it and to the unbeliever this might upset them. From now on all Christmas items will be replaced with the word “Holiday”. They will be Holiday Cards, Holiday Cookies, Holiday Trees, Holiday Songs, and so on.

Santa Clause has been sued. We tried to speak to Santa but only his lawyer was reached. Mr. Scrooge D. Elf, Santa’s lawyer was only able to give us a statement and unable to answer questions. The following is Santa’s Christmas…Holiday changes.

“Mr. Clause, from this day forward will no longer say ‘Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night’ instead he will be saying the statement. ‘Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night’.

Mr. Clause will also not be checking to see if the kids have been naughty or nice. For if a child receives a lump of coal this Christmas … Holiday it might offend him. Thus every child, no matter what state of behavior, we must give a toy. Every child will also must receive every item off his wish list or the belief of Santa will be lost.

Mr. Clause, will no longer be known as St. Nick, this might offend those who do not believe in Saints, this is religious term. Mr. & Mrs. Clause will also be put on a strict diet because their unhealthy state of weight is not a good role model to the kids. We ask that instead of Christmas…Holiday cookies that you place Slim Fast and Weight Watchers Granola Bars.

The twelve reindeer have now been replaced with other such animals. Deer, Bears, three fish, Cats, a bird and a skunk, will now pull Mr. Clause’s sled. We felt that it might offend the other animals if we use only reindeer. Rudolph will not be able to pull the sled this year and neither will the twelve reindeers because of the Rudolph’s lawsuit. Just a reminder, that it is not nice to make fun of a reindeer with red noses. Thank you.” ~ Mr. Scrooge D. Elf, Santa's Lawyer.

We do have an update on Mr. Tiny Tim. It seems that he is doing well after all his counseling that he has received. He will return to the Cratchit family, after he was removed for making the statement. “God Bless us, every one.” It seems that the Cratchit parents had some type religious influence on him, causing him to make that statement. If this happens again, Tiny Tim will be removed and put in a foster home with gay parents and drug addicted foster siblings, which will be a better place for Tiny Tim. Mr. & Mrs. Cratchit will be jailed.

You will also be seeing the following new stories on the bookshelves this Christmas…Holiday Season. “The Holiday Carol”, “ Twas the Night before the Holidays”, “The Gift from Maggie” and “The Best Holiday Pageant Ever”. Also most of you favorite Christmas…Holiday Songs have been changed. “We Wish You a Merry Season” “Have yourself a Happy Little Holiday” “I heard the Bells on that Holiday Day” and “We Need a Little Seasons Greetings”. Any songs that refer to a babe born in Bethlehem, or Angels, Shepherds, Wise Men or a Manger will not be sung this year.

Also the 25th of December will no longer be called Christmas Day. Since Holiday is such a generic term, the day will now simply be called "25th of December", just as Cinco De Mayo is called in Spanish the 5th of May. The 24th will simply be called the "25th of December Eve".

Again, we warn you of the following changes. Just incase, you get caught offending another. We do hear that many Christians are offended by these changes, but that doesn’t matter. The Bible tells them not to be offended, so this should pass once they pray thought about it.

For now we would like to say… “Happy Holiday” or “Seasons Greetings” or maybe “Happy Greetings” or “Seasons Holidays” or maybe “Holiday Greetings” oh forget it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jacqueline

PS. Oh tell my family I love them and Merry Christmas, the Politically Correct Police have finally caught up with me!~

An Inside View on One of America's Biggest gods

2009-10-13T03:33:00.002-07:00

An Insight View on America’s Gods

“The team is expected to arrive in about an hour and half, and oh they won too.” I looked at my coworker who was giving me a look of sympathy. We both knew what that meant it would be a long night for me. My supervisor walked in at that moment and I turned to her, which wasn’t good news. They hadn’t eaten yet, they were excited about the win, the team had no rules in place, and there next game was not for a couple days. It truly would be a long night!

The arrival went smoothly and I was busy on the phones. Transfers from room to room, then the room service orders came pouring in. The thing is athletes know how to eat and you may have an order for 2 burgers and a large pizza but that for one guy times that by a whole team and you have your start to feel like your going to drown in work! But the worst was yet to come; once these boys were full they were ready to have some fun.

At about 1am, after bellies where full this was the part of the night I dread, these guys now wanted some fun and entertainment. Some already intoxicated, other ordering unbelievable amount of alcohol and calls asking where they can find strip bars and escorts for the evening. With in an hour, “Tinker Bells” (the hotel’s code name for escorts and prostitutes) were easily spotted.

The calls were now more frustrating to handle, being the only female employee on property and could be reached via phone, the comments becoming less appropriate. Working many years on the graveyard shift I knew how to professionally handle these types of calls. Always professionally but I usually first start out sarcastically, then coldly, then down right rude followed by threats of filing charges against them. For some reason, these pro sports figures thought of my spunk as a challenge, sometimes only treats of telling their coach would work, except when the coach is your problem. In one attempt, an intoxicated player even attempted to find me wearing only his boxers. Thank God that day they were re-waxing the floor outside my offices. The player went slipping and sliding and hit his head more then once on the floor.

Around 4am things finally settle down, most passed out or tired after a long day. Then a noise from a room is heard and security is called. Arriving into the room, security found that 4 players decided to practice in the room. Security also found a brand new broken TV, 3 in repairable lamps, a shattered mirror, torn sheets, broken picture frames which equaled to thousand of dollars of damage. The comment from the guys was laughing and a comment to charge it to the team; this was nothing for them to pay after all they got paid the millions. Beside they didn’t care after all they truly believed that nothing could hurt them and they could get away with anything!

Pro Sports industry disgusts me to the point I want to throw up some days. I dread nights when teams come in, there is no respect, no dignity and a “I-can-do-whatever-I-want-do-you-know-who-I-am” attitude. Let me stop right now, and say this, I have ran into several decent players, who care about their reputation, who are family men, and are very respectable but I have had more of the following that I have described then the latter.

Who do we blame? Everyone is responsible for their own actions, but does America build an atmosphere that causes these types actions to easily happen? Pro Sports Players are paid unbelievable amount of money to play a game. While thousand of fans cheer on from the stadium, and thousand more watching on TV. Every move they make on and off the field is watched, they are consider heroes. People freak out when they met them, asking for autographs and pictures. Even coworker fans over look their down falls and continue to adore them.

Players are often given special treatment. I’ve had many teams come in and we had to treat them a certain way. I refused to treat them any different then I treated my other guest. At one point, I had to bend over backwards and do whatever they please. This team had our hotel was being watched by 15 security agencies which included local polices, private security, national guard and even secret services. During this time we were consider a terrorist threat, no fly zone and on alert as high as the White House.

Why should we adore them? Honestly sit back and think about it. How have they impact people? Have they truly made a difference? When people leave a game have they truly gained anything? Have they learned or become a better person? Have they saved a life? Above all, what have they done for the Lord? Does their effort impact a soul in a good way?

We hear all the time of Pro Sports players get into trouble but how often do they easily get out of trouble? In the time that I have worked at my resort, I have seen and heard them engage with multiple illegal acts, including destruction of property, verbal and physical abuse (enough evidence to go to court over it), stealing, prostitution, and drug use, use just to name a few.

Yet, America worship these idols, yes idols! An idol is an image used as an object of worship or can also mean one that is adored, often blindly or excessively! Screaming Fans in the stadium, dressing in the colors, thousand dedicate their Sundays to watch the games. Many spend hours discussing in great details about ever moment of the game. Their sign becomes branded on people, places and stuff. From cars, t-shirts, posters, hats, you name it they have it. American’s may not bow before a statue but in many other ways they do that.

But what disgusted me more is when I see apostolic getting involved, I realized it can be easy to be caught up in it, especially when your home town may be heading for a championship or national title. It’s not uncommon to see the latest scores on games from apostolic friends on Facebook statuses. See them wear logo, or talk about the game they went too. It’s easy to get caught up into it that it consumes your time, money and mind. Has it become your god? Remember that you also can not serve two masters!

It was the end of the week and I sat back in my chair at work and let out a huge sigh. The team was leaving today. They had a game today and then off to their next location. Because of the games, some rules where put into place, curfews, no alcohol, and no monkey business. I was glad to get rid of them. My bosses walked in and ask about my night, the team and other such stuff. As he walked away to his offices, he turned around and said,”By the way, we have another team arriving tomorrow night.”

Jac

From Immodest to Modest... Helping New Converts

2009-10-10T04:10:00.004-07:00

This has been on my mind lately, not sure why but I thought I might share some of my thoughts and see if you have any suggestions.

There is nothing like a new convert in the church who starting to embrace holiness standards but to change a whole wardrobe isn’t easy. Sometimes they might only have a handful of hand me down outfits and their current wardrobe nearly useless! I figure I would give a few suggestions that allow you to look into a new convert’s current closet and hopefully find suggestions for modest outfits. These are suggestions for women and young ladies, and girls.

First of all teach them the first key, Layering! If they have short sleeve put a long sleeve shirt under for a causal but cute and modest look. This works for polo shirts, cap sleeve tops and even T-Shirts. Tank tops can be used under shirt too to give a pop of color and a longer shirt hiding the Muffin Top and Plumber Look. Tank tops can be used under a short jacket too.

Jeans to skirts! You can make a pair of jeans into a skirt; this allows them to get rid of jeans and the temptation and gives them an alternatives look. Look up on Google “How to make a Jeans into a Skirt” for instructions. Finding a good jean skirt can be hard and this gives them the upper hand. I did this once with a pair of scrubs to make a scrub skirt!

Remember the tank tops from before, turn them around! Some have a higher neck and can be used for V-Neck Shirts and jackets. If it doesn’t reach high enough, use two safety pins and actually pin the tank top to your bra straps. This helps from neck line falling when leaning over and keeps the bra straps from falling!

Too Tight, if the suit jackets, jean jacket, or button down shirt is too tight try unbuttoning it with a top underneath.

Doesn’t want to get ride of certain T-Shirts (like a T-Shirt from a charity event) but can’t wear it again, they can make a T-Shirt Quilt. (Google it for instructions)

Mini Jean skirts, you can add a 2nd skirt by sewing on an old gypsy or peasant skirt below giving a modest look.

Semi short skirts. Add material or ribbon giving an extra couple inches. If the skirt is print, cut a strip off the bottom add a solid color then add the strip on the bottom. Sometimes you can’t even tell the difference.

Fill in slits with a piece of material also know as a Kick Pleat. Can’t sew very much? I saw one church that if the slit overlap naturally, they would add a row of buttons; this was an easy way of sewing the slit together!

Bargain Shopping! Need tank tops with high necks for V-Neck tops? Go to thrift stores and look under the sleeveless you might have quite a few choices. Jean Skirts can be found often at thrift shops, also items that can be added to a short skirt. Long sleeve shirts for T-Shirt can also be found.

Shopping! Help them learn the basics that will help them in the beginning! First of all BLACK SKIRT! Black piece or Tank top will also be a plus! Their other things that can help, for guys a couple pair of simple slacks and white shirts and different ties.

Blessing Boutique! Our church began the Blessing Boutique for a Ladies Retreat and it has been a hit. Ladies brought in gently used, clothing, that was modest, in shape and wasn’t from the 1800s. In so many words we would swap clothes, it was kinda a “Yard Sale for Apostolic” but we didn’t charge each other! It was a blessing to each other! (If you won’t exact details on how it worked just ask I’ll be happy to explain) With left over stuff, we put some of each size in a closet at the church, this we would use if we had a new lady in the church needing clothing. People would donate through out the year and this gives a variety of items for the Ladies, children and even men to have something if none of these ideas can work! Also if they have clothes that are modest but too tight see if they are willing to donate to the Blessing Boutique so they can be a blessing to others!

Above all, be creative! If you don’t know how to sew try different things, give your own tricks for finding stuff to wear. Sewing helps, if you don’t know try taking a simple sewing class. This can help with doing basic changes. I recommend altering items so the temptation to go back to the old ways is not so easily done. Get ride of stuff by donating it to charity, if its expensive stuff try putting it at a Consignment shop and use the money to buy good modest clothes. Use immodest items and cut them up to fill in other things, like the jeans into skirts need a piece of material.

Please let me know if you have any ideas that you have used or can share to help others with new converts! I kinda throw these ideas out! I've done several of these things, including the Jeans to Skirts, Mini Skirts with Peasant Bottom, Kick Pleats in Slits and few others if you have any questions about those. Email me at Jacquelinesc84@gmail.com

As Always,
Jacqueline

Princess Lessons, A Song and the Greatest Love Story EVER!

2009-09-30T01:27:00.005-07:00

Ok so lately there has been an email going back and forth about love stories started by my best friend amoung a few friends! Talking about does some love stories make you gag or giggle or sigh or what. It just seems to keep taking a twist but since I work so hard on a reply all I figure I would share it. Recently we began talking about the famous Princess Stories... Here is what I wrote in reply! Enjoy!

Hey I still love them!!! The books I mean!!!! Did you know you can learn a lot from the Princess stories stuff you can put in your own life???

Ok I was thinking of the princess stories one day and started putting down a few things you can learn from them. Really!!! Ok so here ye all first "Princess Lesson" from Jac

1. Waiting! Each of the princesses waited, they waited for prince charming! They didn't complain, they didn't try to push things along. They simply waited! I find this the hardest for me, I don't like waiting! But each waited and because they waited when the right time comes, prince charming was a part of their lives!

2. Dreaming! So some don't agree that it ok to dream about your "prince". I disagree! It doesn't hurt to dream! In fact I have been told to write down by many preachers and elders in my life what I want in a husband, it helps you know what to look for. Remember to let God change your list sometimes!

3. Be Content! Cinderella and Snow White might not of had the best thing going for them when people were out to tear them down or even kill them. They made the best of the situation, being content and happy!

4. Work! Ok I know it a four letter word but it not bad! LOL Yes they worked and did what ever asked or even just what they saw that needed done.

5. Struggles! We think being a princess in a story can be easy but think about it they had struggles! Cinderella and her Step mom and step sisters, Snow White and her Step Mom wanting to kill her, Sleeping Beauty AKA Aurora, was almost killed but end up put in a sleeping trance. Beauty & Beast, Bell had to leave her father and live in a house with a beast! Etc. etc. Life isn't easy, sometimes thing happen but each of them appreciated their prince and new life so much more because of struggles and trials!

6. Kindness! They were kind to people, strangers, and even animals! They often look and treat people others would not try to see! Bell look past a mean beast and saw a prince! Cinderella found friends in animals, Snow White saw seven dwarfs that even though not perfect were good in their own way!

7. Not Perfect! We hoped that each princess was just perfect but they weren't! Each one one did things that I don't think were good example to us, even though we all can justify it with the situation. Cinderella would complain about her step mom & sisters behind their backs. Snow White disobeyed the dwarfs and talk to the stranger and was almost killed. Bell, would get mad, slam doors and disobey her captor at times. I'm not saying that it bad or easy but honestly they were not perfect!

As much as I love the princess stories, it pales in comparison to the greatest love story! The Love story of God and his bride! Lately, I have been consumed by the story! I think of the old song I use to sing... "Will You Marry Me?" here is the lyrics...

A young man left his homeland
On a search so grand and far
A mission of compassion
A journey of the heart
Looking for the treasure
That would make is life complete
Then at last he found her
On a dark deserted street
Her eyes were sad and empty
Her face had lost it's glow
Her body tired and weary
For sin was all she known
Lying the gutter she could not understand
Why he was kneeling down beside her
Holding out a nail scarred hand

Will You Marry Me?
Will you be my bride?
Will you marry me?
I can change your life
I have looked beyond your failures
And I see you washed as white as white can be
So I askWill you marry me?

I Love that song! Seriously think of it, a damsel in distress (Us and sin) and man comes to our rescue, taking our place so we can live. He rises again, and says to wait for him and he will return! He gave us a book full of love letters and stories (Bible) to teach us stuff, train us to be his perfect bride. He gives advices, stories and professes His Love in it! ~Sigh~ One day he will come back, sneaking us away to be with him forever. He is a king riding on a white horse and us riding beside him and we will truly live with him Happily Ever After!

No matter how much I love "Love Stories" I can't even begin to tell you what that story does for me! It makes my heart swell up with so much excitement, love, joy, peace and stuff I can't even begin to express! I love when Br. Abbott tells the story of Bride of Christ, I'm telling you it captivates my attention like it the first time I ever heard a story before! It awesome, it a story you must hear!!!

The best part is that story is not a fairytale but true and happening to us!

In Love with My True Prince Charming, Jesus Christ!
Jac

May We Never Forget! 9/11

2009-09-11T01:27:00.005-07:00

Most of us can remember that day. Where they were how they received the news and how they felt. The confusion as people tried to straighten out the news they received was it a bomb? Now two planes and it hit the world trade center or was it the Pentagon? Did you wonder if there were more planes that might be dangerous? Did you know anyone who might be hurt?

Did you feel helpless? Did you get on your knees and pray? Did you question God on why? Did you stand and cry and to shock to realize what was going one? What did you think? Did you cradle you children close? Did you call your loved one just to say I love you? Did you buy a flag and did Red, White and Blue become your favorite colors? Did you hold hands with a stranger and prayed for those that were hurting? Did you finally pull out your bible and open it up and read it? Did you donate blood, clothes, time or money?

Where you at the stuck at the Airport? Where you in NYC, Washington DC or Pennsylvania, that day? Did you know someone who walked right into the face of danger where others were running out? Where you considered a Hero by many but a thought you were a failure because you didn’t do enough for the people? Did you stand by waiting for orders? Did you sign up for the Military so you could fight for your country? Did you cry with a complete stranger as you watch the events unfold?

You were ready to fight back. You became united with the nation. Their pain felt like your pain. You prayed for those in danger. Felt proud to shake the hand of everyday heroes. Heroes that wore police uniforms, firemen outfits, combat boots and cameo. You thank soldiers as they headed off to protect your country. You put the colors red, white and blue everywhere you could from you car, to your house and pined it to your shirt. Tears came to your eyes when you saw a flag. You thank God everyday for the freedom and protection that America has given you.

Now the years have passed, the flag has faded and laid aside. You wonder why the soldiers never came back or are still gone and why the War continues on. You don’t look at your neighbor anymore. You pushed God out of your life. You no longer honor soldiers, but almost mocked and look down upon them. Police dogs are more cried over than an officer who dies in the line of duty. Firemen, that dying during a fire is just a news story. And the 11th day of September is just another day.

Yet, for a wife, a husband, a father, a mother, a daughter, a son, employee, a coworker, or a partner that day plays out in there head almost every day. Daddy may never come home and hug his children, a lover will never receive a kiss again, a partner will never play a round of golf, policemen may never help keep the peace, a paramedic will not help save another life.

The facts will be in History book long after this generation dies. A memorial will be put up but will become another tourist site. The name of the victims will fade into just a number. Yet, through us is only how the true effect of this day will live on. Do not let the unity fade, the patriotism disappear. Remember why we fight. Pray for those who lost love ones, and protection for others. Shake the hand of a local hero. Greet a stranger with a smile. Thank God everyday for the life that He has given. May We Never Forget! 9-11-01

Jacqueline

Just Wait

2009-09-04T04:15:00.005-07:00

We all hate to wait, especially in these days and times. We want quick services, fast food, everything sent immediately, and rapid answers. If we wait longer then usual we are upset. We don’t like to wait.

Dr. Seuss is one of my favorite writers. In the mist of his silly child writing he often had deep means. Yet, I had to disagree with one of his writings from the book “Oh the Places You’ll Go” one of my favorite books.

I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...... for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or a No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That's not for you!

Now, waiting around doing nothing, wasting time when you can spend time doing so much more. No, I’m talking about genuine waiting.

We often get frustrate in our lives even when we are young, maybe waiting till we are tall enough to ride a roller coaster, or old enough to drive a car. We can’t wait to go to college and really spend time in school learning a career. We can’t wait to be married then have children. We don’t want them to grow up but we can’t wait till they can do things on their own. We can’t wait till grandkids and retirement. We spending our whole life just wait, is that a bad thing. No.

See waiting is good for us. Some time we have to wait till we are older because we can’t handle it when we are younger. Like, riding a rollercoaster can be dangerous if you’re too short, driving a car might not be a good idea for a young child because they are not responsible enough and so on.

When we wait, we learn to grow, we learn to appreciate it more and we learn to lean on God. If we got everything now, how can we learn that the Lord is are all in all. In the bible, Wait is found over 106 times, throughout the bible the word is used to show an enemy waiting to attack but in Psalms it’s different. In Psalms, we learn to wait upon the Lord. Wait for strength, wait on courage, wait on hope, waiting on the Lord will allow you to inherit the land, and it goes on and on. Wait, wait, and wait.

Now I know I hate to wait, sometimes it takes forever to wait for something; boiling water, next conferences, and important phone calls. I have trouble waiting for certain things in my future, agitated that they just appear tomorrow! Maybe a new job, a chance to finish school and so much more; I hate to wait.

Waiting is required by God. What God wants to know is what are you going till your waiting time is over? Are you going to mope around counting the years, months, weeks, days, hours and seconds? Or are you doing stuff, waiting with the Lord but occupying your hands. The best way to make the wait time pass is doing stuff and waiting on the Lord but also with the Lord. It’s almost like Christmas…

We all love Christmas, and as children we just couldn’t wait till Christmas day to open all the presents. Now it’s like that, we can mope day after day complaining it’s not Christmas yet! Or we can occupy ourselves planning for that day. We write and send out Christmas Cards, we decorate our house, we buy presents. We prepare for that day with cooking, cleaning and occupying our days so when that grand day comes we are ready for it!!! Each thing makes that day special for everyone and the anticipation makes the day worth it.

Not always, can we count down till that special day, even sometimes we think it’s in sight but things can change. The greatest thing is that God is waiting with us, He is waiting to see what we do in the mean time.

If we are waiting on college, but effort in your current schooling to make things easier in college, waiting on marriage enjoy doing things that you might not be able to do when you are married, mission trips, youth conferences and so much more. Waiting on kids, enjoy just the two of you and enjoy how far you can go now. Waiting on kids to grow up, remember they won’t always be this young enjoy it and teach them well. Waiting on retirement, put all your effort in your job and you might have a better outcome and enjoy retirement so much more. The possibilities are endless if you put your mind to it!

Do we restlessly sit back and complain like kids in the back seat saying, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Or are we keeping ourselves busy changing ourselves for the better simply in the “Waiting Place” as Dr. Seuss called it. Just remember to make sure Jesus is sitting with you in the waiting room and you will always have company.

Just waiting with my Lord,

Jacqueline

My Little Chocolate Chips

2009-08-27T03:03:00.004-07:00

My Chocolate Chips! When we think about Chocolate Chips we think of those little burst of sweetness that add to an otherwise boring cookie or normal bread. But that not what I’m talking about, I’m talking about My Chocolate Chips, my Sunday school kids!!!

So first of all those who will think we are racist, wait a minute, before you casting the first stone! You see, we are always teaching our kids (both Sunday school kids and our own church kids) that God made each of us different. Some are tall or short, fat or skinny, dark skin or light, etc. We wanted them to understand that skin color didn’t matter. So if you were darker skinned: your chocolate, if you’re medium: your caramel and if you light skin: your vanilla! This brought things down to their level because they knew the difference in these types of candies or ice cream flavors or whatever and they all realize each was different but still was Mmm…good!!! Even sometimes better when you add them all together!!!

So after awhile I started calling my group of kids that I pick up, My Chocolate Chips. Now I have a group of different kids that I pick up!!! I have White Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Milk Chocolate; I sometimes even have Semi-Sweet Chocolate or little Carmel type chips!!! LOL

Now I’m not a Sunday school teacher but I’m a “Bus” driver for the kids! LOL Well in my beat-up old car!!! I do try to teach them songs in the car, or help them learn their bible verse while driving. I will try to talk to the older girls and instill whatever I can in their hearts. But I have a biggest prayer for them, all of the kids that come to our church that God will use these little Chocolate Chips for His Glory!!!

So take a minute and look into my little imaginative brain. You see, I see God rolling up His sleeves one day when these kids/chips have grown a lot in the Lord and have become little bits of sweetness and say “It’s Time” Putting on His chef’s hat and pulling out His mixing bowls and all the things He needs, with all the Angels watching on into the Big Kitchen!!! Then God starts, He starts putting in the eggs, flour and sugar mixing a little bit of salt and baking soda. Adding in brown sugar, milk and all the rest of the necessary ingredients except the chocolate chips. Pulling out His huge wooden spoon, He begins to stir. Now unlike me I would break into a sweat but God is too strong for that.

After all the ingredients are mixed, He puts in the best part the chips! Some He will mix a couple kinds, white, milk, dark chocolate or pits of caramel or toffee. Sometimes He will melt them in the ingredients or add only one kind to the mix. After He done He will bake His little creations. Oh yes, the mixing might swirl them around some and the cooking at 400 degrees might be rough but the end product is so mmm…good, sometimes you just can’t just eat one serving!!!

See God can add chips to about anything. He can add it to some Bread, or make Cookies. He can add these little bits of goodness, to muffins, or even pancakes. They can be toppings on ice creams, or melted to be added to other bake goods. The possibilities are endless, especially when God is cooking! God doesn’t over cooks the cookies and have burnt edges. The ingredients are always fresh. Never does God forgets to add the flour or mixes up the sugar and salt. God only uses the best chips.

So as I drive my little chocolate chips back and forth to church and as they sit in class and church learning the Truth. I see that God is getting these little chips ready to be used, or maybe pretty close to be added to a batter. What I can’t wait to see is the end results, the endless freshly cooked chocolate chip cookies, Banana Bread with Chocolate chips, double chocolate chip cookies with both dark and white chocolate chips. Even granola bars are better with chocolate added to the sorts! Can’t wait to see what He has in store for my little assortment of chocolate chips!!!

Till later,
Jacqueline

To see pictures of my chocolate chips go to this link...
http://picasaweb.google.com/jewelginty/Kids?feat=email#5367445865059171842
All pictures were taken by Gintyimages.com

My Thoughts on Woodstock 1969

2009-08-25T02:56:00.003-07:00

Woodstock 1969, I wasn’t there. In fact, I wasn’t born either; my mom had to of only been 9 maybe 10 years old. I reflect on Woodstock only on what I read in text books, internet and what I have heard about that eventful 3 days in history now 40 years ago. I remember before I dedicated my life to God when I was 14, watching hours of MTV and hearing about Woodstock. To me at the time it was a grand and amazing event, a one of a kind that I hope I could see repeated and I could attend. Now at age 25, I dread to see a similar event come together. In fact, I fear for it. Woodstock to be honest was to me now a nasty, insane, ungodly and devilish event and I refuse to give it any glory.

Before I go, I want to say a few things. First of all, this blog is an open blog, meaning I leave it so general public can read it. In fact, many people find my blog by googling different things that I have talked about on my blog. Second, I wasn’t there at Woodstock, the info I have gathered here is what I have read in newspaper articles, encyclopedia, firsthand accounts and many other resources. Third and most important, I’m just stating my opinion on the fact. I realize that people without my same belief may stumble upon this blog and may not agree with what I say. Just remember one thing about Woodstock often portrayed, “Show me some Love and Peace man!”

Aug. 15th – 17th, 1969, three nights and days straight of simply music and peace, more than 400,000 people came to a 600 acre dairy farm in Bethel, NY. The event was Woodstock, lined up on the stage were many famous rock artists of the day, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and the Jefferson Airplane to name a few. Thousand more would have come if police had not blocked off access roads, and for miles stalled cars could be seen. It is estimated as many as one million youth might have shown had police allowed access or if the show had gone on longer. The vast majority of those that participated in this event; where between the ages of 16 to 30. Many proudly share their stories of telling parents and bosses wild stories and excuse in order to go this event.

So you might think what so bad about nearly half million getting together to enjoy some music? It what happen there that makes me sick and disgusted at such an event. First of one of the main ones comes to mind, narcotics. At least 90% of those present were smoking marijuana. For those who think marijuana is not a “bad” drug because it’s often consider a “better” drug then cigarettes, cocaine or other narcotics. According to ACDE.org (American Council for Drug Education’s) here are the Dangers of Marijuana: Impaired perception; Diminished short-term memory; Loss of concentration and coordination; Impaired judgment; Increased risk of accidents; Loss of motivation; Diminished inhibitions; Increased heart rate; Anxiety, panic attacks, and paranoia; Hallucinations; Damage to the respiratory, reproductive, and immune systems; Increased risk of cancer; and Psychological dependency. Statistics also show that 60% of youngsters who use marijuana before they turn 15 later go on to use cocaine.

At Woodstock, marijuana was not the only drug easily found, in fact every narcotic of any and all description could be found, hash, acid, speed, horse and cocaine. Many youth were freaked out on bad trips caused by low-grade LSD which had been openly peddled at $6 per capsule. Only one person died from an overdose of heroin, which was amazing miracle, but how many others were messed up for life? How many other became addicts because of this event. In fact in recent times, it is said that Baby Boomers of that era of time haven’t given up something from the 60’s, the getting high on illicit drugs. Why didn’t the police do anything about this openly use of narcotics? It was said that police made less then 100 arrests on narcotics charges, perhaps out of fear of rousing the crowd to hostility.

Drugs weren’t the only thing that ran wild at Woodstock but morality flew out the window. People openly had casual sex, often with people they just met or after being tripped out on drugs and alcohol woke up next to someone they had never known. Skinny dipping in a near by lake was common. Even though the event was prime place for chaos and riots because of poor conditions; piles of garbage, inadequate sanitation, the lack of good and 2 nights of rain that turn Woodstock into a sea of mud. Yet, no rapes, no assaults, no robberies or a single fight broke out among the crowd and that something to be proud of??? Though told by first hand accounts and not mentioned in textbooks, “Food For Love” Food stand after running out of food and overcharging was burned to the ground during the event. Plus, a total of 2 deaths, 5 miscarriages and 2 births happen at the event; the second death was cause by carelessness of riding a tractor over a man who was either asleep or passed out under the tractor.

What really burns me up about Woodstock is the rebellion. Youth, now 40 years later tell proudly tell their rebellious stories of how they snuck out their parent’s home, told wild stories, lies to employees and ditching so they could participate in this “great” event! It was also said that one Judge was punched in the face by a man who had been arrested at the event. Hippies were known for being rebelliousness, even if they did it “peacefully” rebellion against the law. Hippies would often burn draft cards because they didn’t agree with the war.

What really had me in a tizzy was a comment made in article from Time Magazine in 1969, “Youth has always been rebellious.” I must disagree with this statement, I have seen a generation of Apostolic youth of my age that are not rebellious but are following in the old paths and obeying the law, parents, authority and above all God and His Word. The article goes on to say that the particle group of young people were different not rebellious. One U.S. sociolologist said, “They are not mimicking something done in its purest form by adults. They are doing their own thing.” (Judges 21:25 come to mind, “…every man did that which was right in his own eyes.”) “All this shows that there is a breakdown in the capacity of adult leaders to capture the young.” Some others observers agree that the youth movement is group of people with out leadership. Janis Joplin, one of the famous musicians at event insists otherwise, “We don’t need a leader, we have each other. All we need it to keep our heads straight,” (How can they when they are so high on drugs) “And in ten years this country maybe a decent place to live in.” I can say that now 40 years later this place is not much better of a place to live in.

Woodstock is held in high regard; yes I won’t deny that against the odds Woodstock could have been worst. Riots, overdoses, and even deaths, it was considered a “Peaceful event” yet how many found or came home with true peace? Oh yes, they helped each other out, A New Mexico Hippie commune who took care of kids on bad trips, people helping each other pull cars out of ditches and mud and even though the farm was a disaster it only took 5 days to clean up. Yet, the bad out ways the good by far, I could go on an on about lots more on Woodstock, but I would like to conclude by another statement. Researching Woodstock, I stumbled upon an article but it wasn’t the article that caught my attention it was the first comment written below the story. Bruce from Jordan, MN received multiple thump downs on his comment; I wish I could have given many thumps up. Bruce sums up my whole blog in one paragraph:

“It's darkly comical that a people can continue to congratulate themselves over the years for being a part of an event that has been described as a" peaceful and loving". Should we be proud of the fact that over the course of 4 days, and with a group of approx 500, 000 people there was little violence? Maybe we should high five the fact that no one was killed. This is the standard we've set? Well, yes, this is the standard we have set. What about the drug taking, drinking, and indiscriminate sexual encounters, what about the shake your fist in God's face attitude of the whole event? I contend there was a great deal of violence...in the form of a massive rebellion against God's laws and His Goodness, and His Mercy on a sinful and thankless people. People "worshiping the creature and not the creator". The pride people have in this event is a Holy stink in God's nostrils.”

Thank you Bruce! Thumbs Up X 1000

Jacqueline

Resources:

American Council for Drug Education’s, Copyright 1999 www.acde.org/common/Marijana.htm
Mail On Sunday Website, comment on article Still Married: Forty years after Woodstock. Comment by Bruce from Jordan, MN USA Aug. 16, 2009; http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1206558/Forty-years-Woodstock-happened-couple-photograph-defined-generation.html#ixzz0P5rLxiUE
Time Magazine: Study: Drug use Continues Among Boomers, by AP Aug 19, 2009 http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1917383,00.html
Time Magazine: The Message of History’s Biggest Happening, Aug. 29, 1969 by Unknown Author http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,901295,00.html
Woodstock 69 website http://www.woodstock69.com/

A Time to Play and A Time to Cuddle

2009-08-09T04:05:00.004-07:00

I don’t know whose fault it was hers or mine, I think we saw each other at the same time. She followed me as I walked by peering casual in. I brought my fingers to the window being careful not to tap, but she was glued immediately. She stood back and stared and I could hear a little growl from her little throat moments before she tried to attack my fingers. I laughed out loud! For ten minutes, I slowly moved my fingers across the window, for ten minutes she attempted to attack the window, licking, biting, growling and wagging her small little tail. I was captivated by her and she by me.

“Would you like to hold her?”

I hesitated for a moment, I knew better then to hold the puppy, I would get attached. I could not giver the home she deserved. I worked too much and didn’t have the best place for any pet. Still playing through the window I asked, “What kind of dog is she?”

“She a Shorkie, a mix breed, half Shih Tzu and half Yorkie, the best of both worlds.”

I smiled, she wasn’t the prettiest of the pups in the window, but her actions had caught my attention. She playfully “attacked” my fingers as the worker continued her sells pitch.

“So do you want to hold her?”

I hesitated for just a moment before agreeing. The little girl continued to play until she realized she was being dragged from her cage. By the time she got into the little room for “future” dog owners and their “future” possible pets she was shaking, scared down to her little paws. I set her on the ground but the cold tile just shaking worst. I got down on the floor and picked up the little shaking ball of fur and set her on my lap.

From that moment on she received a little nickname, “Girly”, which she responded too very well. First we played a little bit, but before long Girly was curled up in my lap fast asleep. I found out Girly had only been at the store for two days, she was the youngest and newest pup and I was the first to actually hold her.

Over an hour, Girly and I sat cuddled together; she managed to find every nook that she could hide her little face in. By the time I was getting ready to go she had wiggled her little body from my lap and into my arms. She gave me her best puppy eyes when I told the worker it was time to go. As I gave her over to the worker she barked but as I left she let out a little howl.

The departing of Girly and I was not sad, I actually felt quite comforted. In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it talks about the how and everything there is a season. Time for this and a time for that, time well for everything.

When first saw Girly, we were both captivated with playing with each other even if there was a glass panel in between us. Then before long we were cuddled together content to simply do that.

How often in our lives when it comes to God, we are the same. We can play before the Lord in many ways. Singing, shouting, or anything that might fills our heart full of joy. Then next thing we know God wants to simply gather us close and hold us. He reaches down into our little home and grabs us up in His arms. First, we maybe scared but we find our comfort and curl up maybe listen to hear God’s heartbeat. It maybe in our times of prayer, it might be in a church service or alone time with God. Sometimes we are so hyped up we never stop and finally God takes us and slows us down and simply cuddles with His children.

So the Bible says there is a Time for everything; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to dance a time for everything. But as Girly and I learned there is also a time to play and a time to cuddle!

Jacqueline

What Girly looked like, but not a picture of her!

Just Sing...

2009-08-03T02:22:00.002-07:00

“Just Sing,”

It seems to be what my heart and soul was crying out for me to do. But everything else told me not to sing. I had just cried till I had no tears left, I had been having a rough day, more like a rough year. I didn’t want to sing, I wanted to cry, I wanted curl up and die temporally, and I did not want to sing. I was to low in spirit that singing would not help, it would not solve my problems, and it would not meet my needs.

“Just sing anyways.”

Oh, but to sing, that would hurt in more ways then one. I used to pride myself in my singing. I had a strong soprano voice, I could reach high notes with easy, and in fact I think I was too proud of it. So when the doctor told me the chance of losing my voice during surgery hit me pretty hard, almost as hard as finding out I had cancer. Singing now would hurt. It would hurt because I could not sing like I used too. It would hurt because the surgery had been recent and the vocal cords where still extremely tender.

“Sing through the pain”

“I can’t sing.” I cried out loud as if it would stop. But it didn’t the urge to sing was still very strong. I was frustrated, I didn’t want to sing, and it wouldn’t solve a thing. It wouldn’t be pretty. In fact I saw no need for the reason to sing.

Then the first verse of a song came to me, one that I barely remember but came to me by heart, and the tears I though could no longer come, flowed down my cheek like a flood.

Their chains were fastened tight,
Down at the jail that night
Still Paul and Silas would not be dismayed
They said, “It’s time to lift our voice
Sing praises to the Lord
Let’s prove that we will trust Him
Come what may”

I was thinking of the chains that held Paul and Silas. They had their back beaten, they were in a jail cell; they had been preaching the gospel and were thrown into prison. My problems seem so little compared to theirs, but worst is they had not made mistakes like mine. Some of my problems were my own fault; I had done something to myself. Some things that were a part of my problem were not things I had done to myself. I was a mass of confusion, but the urge to sing still so strong. The only thing that seemed sane even as crazy as it seemed to me.

I lifted up my crackled voice, my throat was badly sore, my notes were off no matter how much I tried and the sobbing that came made the singing worst. I had no audience but myself and the Lord. The second verse came to me now.

He loves to hear our praise
On our cheerful days
When the pleasant times outweigh the bad, by far
But when suffering comes along
And we still sing Him songs
That is when we bless the Father’s heart

I rather sing when my heart was happy, I would rather sing when things are going good, but to sing in the low time, well I was learning it was a way to touch God. A type of worship, a type of praise, something beyond what seems normal. I wasn’t sure how I sang the chorus, I was crying now too hard. My voice was raw and hurting, and the weight of it all was too strong.

God wants to hear you sing
When the waves are crashing ‘round you
When the fiery darts surround you
And despair is all you see
God wants to hear your voice
When the wisest man has spoken
And says, “Your circumstance is as hopeless as can be”
That’s when God wants to hear you sing

I sang it with all my heart, I sang it from the depths of my soul, I sang till had no voice and I sang it through the tears, through the pain and through all my fears. I simply sang.

When I was done, I sat in silence; I did not feel a thing. Singing did not solve my problems, singing did not relieve the pain but singing did something else. I let out a deep sigh and then it happened. A peace wrapped around me so tight, I nearly couldn’t breath. I didn’t want to move in fear of making it disappear. A peace that passed all understanding filled that room. For the first time in a long time, I fell into a deep, restful sleep, one I hadn’t had for a long time cause I had stayed up worrying and fretting.

When I awake the next morning, my problems were still there and my pain was still strong, but I had found something in sing that passes all understanding. I can’t explain, I could not put in words. Not just any singing, singing unto the Lord.

Many times through the scripture, singing was used to do many things. David played and sang hymns; many of the songs soothed a troubled king’s spirit. Songs were used to celebrate victories; songs were song in times of despair, like with Paul and Silas. Song when sung unto the Lord can be a powerful tool. A song may not solve your problems, songs may not stop the pain but a song can do things you can never imagine.

Singing unto the Lord is a type of worship. Even during our biggest struggles, a song can show God we are learning to trust Him. Songs can bring peace; songs can bring joy in our hearts. Songs can remind us of things, songs allow us to express what we can’t often put in words. Songs can be prayers, a way to heal our spirit. Songs have a way that can not be explained to help us in endless ways.

So whether you have a good voice or not, even if it seems everything is going your way or a storms clouds are gathered. When you are tired and weary, sad or happy, shy or tired remember one thing…

“Just Sing!”

Jacqueline

*God Wants to Hear You Sing, By Greater Vision*

Heritage or Bust!!!

2009-07-19T03:22:00.007-07:00

I don't know about you but planning trips are fun!!! I love looking for deals on hotels, mapquesting exact details, finally rented my first car (25 now) and so much more! Often I have everything planned out weeks in advance! I know exactly what time I'm leaving, how much I'm going to spend and so much more but when you travel with our youth group... You Just NEVER Know what going to happen!!!

Three months ago I had started the searching and had all the details planned out!!! Nothing was set in stone but I knew what I wanted. Then things started changing... first Br. Abbott said Jestina needs to go make away for her. No biggie, Mary and I added her to the fun. Then we had another friend wanting to come. Sure I was thinking, join us! BUT we had to look for certain kind of rooms. So I searched, searched and searched some more, I made phone calls, and got frustrated. With our budget, I knew we couldn't afford it so I wasn't quite sure what to do. But she backed out and then we were back to square one.

Now it was a month away, I had started really wanting to put things in order, BUT we had to much in the air. Other girls wanted to go but did they have permission, money or time off work!!!

3 weeks away, ok we finally made plans. We are renting this car cause it cheaper, Prepaid so that was in stone. We decided to go one less day, that was cheaper. Prepaid for the Hotel so it was set now too. Finally things were back in order.

But when week 2 came, I was in tears!!! All my set out plans were being asked to be changed. Since a couple hundred dollars of Non Refundable money was involved I was not a happy camper! I wanted to have everyone go but with cost, it was a choice, upgrade and have other fade out because of cost or say No!

Why had it come to being the bad guy! It seemed so simple but now it seemed so complicated! I wanted this to be a fun relaxing trip, I wanted it not to be stressful! I needed a break from work. I was at the point of a planning on having a two year old hiss fit!

Then a quote came to mind, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray." ~Robert Burns, I had this planned out just planned out perfectly!!! I was stressing cause it wasn't going as planned!!!

Then a second thing came to mind, every time I try to plan a trip and everything falls through but some how by the grace of God, I get to go. It seems the Devil knows that I'm going to get really blessed at the conference and so he fights me.

Well Heritage is now less than a week away, everythings now is set and in order (or I think so) best of all, we didn't have to say "No" to anyone that wanted and could go. In fact it worked out really really well!!! I'm excited!!! Amazing how it works, it's Amazing how it worked out for everyone!!! Best of all I'm not as stressed, if something happens I know that God is in control. He will work it out for all of us. Beside it makes it a funner trip!!

So the Landmark Ladies... Mary, Reana (extension of the Landmark Ladies), Jestina, Elizabeth, Sheree and I are heading to Colorado for Heritage Conference 2009!!! Woohoo!!!! Can't wait to see what the Devil didn't want us to find out and what God has in stored!!

To Heritage or Bust!!!!

Jacqueline

New Blog!

2009-07-13T05:31:00.003-07:00

Ok I know another Blog! Don't you have enough girl! Well I wanted this one to stay with stories but I want people to meet me for who I am! The not so normal girly!!! LOL I just started but mark it, follow it or whatever! I used to have an xanga blog but not everyone can comment and so I will be posting some of the old favorite from there. Hope you enjoy!!!

People are always saying "Only You Jac, Only you!" Only you manage to do that, or have that happen to you or this or that! LOL So enjoy my little adventure!!!

So the new blog is onlyyoujac.blogspot.com!

Jacqueline

How Old Am I?

2009-07-03T04:26:00.003-07:00

Birthday: the anniversary of a birth. Simply said by Webster.

On July 5th, I will celebrate just that, but how old will I really be? According to the actual day I was born, this year will mark my 25th Birthday, the 25th year anniversary of my birth, a celebration of life. But how old am I really going to be this year? I was born 25 years ago, that should make me 25 right?

On May 26th, 10 almost 11 years later I receive a new birth, I received the Holy Ghost. I was born of the Spirit! So if that the case I would be born on that day making me 14 years old.

In July about 3 years later, I was born again. This time of the water, I was baptized in Jesus name. Now I had been both born of the Water and the Spirit as mention in Book of John Chapter 3. So that would make me 11 years old later on this month.

Nine years would pass from that moment when I was born of the Water and the Spirit. This time I would face the opposite of life, I would face death. Sitting in the doctor’s office; after coming through a surgery and radiation in order to cure a cancer, I was faced with even harder news. I had been trying so hard to live a normal life, I didn’t face that I was sick, I couldn’t be I was so young. Those around me didn’t believe it either, and those who tried to help I had already tuned out. Now I was faced with the option, I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I choose life.

Now this Sunday, I am celebrating my 2nd birthday, the second birthday I was told I should not live to see. I was giving a new chance on life.

Webster also defines birthday as a day marking the origin, founding, or beginning of something. If a birthday can also mark the beginning of something, I have had several birthdays though out my life.

So my question is how old am I??

Jacqueline

Advice from 25 year old!

2009-06-26T04:53:00.005-07:00

Ok so in a little over a week I'm turning old! LOL Well only 25 but that halfway to fifty!!!! Crazyness!! I'm having a "midlife crisis" not really but it really been a weird thing for me lately! I've been freaking out for weeks. Well I guess it because for 2 years I don't really remember so I think it snuck up on me!

I awhile back I decided to put all that I have learned (still learning) down and call it my advice. Well most I didn't make up but I learned it and try to daily apply it. I've been through a lot in my life but have no desire to tell my "sob" story! God has been way to good to me! So here it is Jacqui's Advice on life! I have lived a long happy almost 25 years now!

Smile.
Be the kind of friend that you want your friends to be.
Dream big but let God guide your dreams.
Be Content.
Listen to elders in your life, they can tell you things that will help you to be wise beyond your years.
Say Hello to a stranger.
Keep your promises.
Don’t be afraid to cry, they can heal wounds that might never be healed.
Give hugs.
Sometimes silence is more then golden, it’s wise.
Gossip is extremely dangerous, stay clear from it.
Remember never say No to God but don’t be afraid to say No to others.
Be true to yourself.
Words really do hurt, be careful how you use them.
Your biggest enemy is your flesh.
Find your talent and passion then use it for His Glory.
Doing something great for God is sometimes doing something small in His name.
Give credit where credit is due.
Know and share your story.
Things happen for a reason, sometimes you may never know why.
Be Patient.
Live as if today is your last day on earth, because you never know when it will be your last.
Dance in the rain.
Laugh till your side hurts.
Stay up all night once and watch the sunrise.
Don’t forget to say “I love you”.
Once be the one behind the scenes and help another shine.
When you ask how someone is doing, make sure you listen to their response.
Take a moment to stop and look up at the stars.
You’re Never Alone.
Wish on shooting stars, but turn them into prayers instead of wishes.
God will never give you more then you can handle, sometimes He gives you just enough to break you so that He makes you stronger and show you that He is your strength.
Count your blessings especially when you are feeling down.
Do something for someone for no reason at all.
Give some of your time to children; they will be the ones who will take care of you when you are old.
Do everything to the best of your knowledge.
Be faithful.
With every piece of advice that you receive be sure to filter it through the Word of God.
Do not judge another; you haven’t walked in their shoes before.
Find out what True Beauty is and apply it to your life.
Never give up.
Hold true to your values.
You can’t believe in others if you can’t believe in yourself.
Being Beautiful doesn’t have to be painful…try keeping a smile on your face while wearing painful shoes.
Families can cause the most joy and the most pain in one’s life, strive to be their joy.
Honesty is really the best policy.
Getting a full night sleep can do wonders in your life.
Give when no one else is looking.
Stay clear of work politics.
Even the smallest amount of kind words can shine the brightest.
Forgive.
Wounds and Scars can be the same in many ways, they tell a story, they show suffering and they can be all different kinds of wounds and scars. They also can be very different; one shows that you’re still in pain the other shows healing.
A sacrifice you make might be a blessing to someone who has sacrificed also.
Never loose hope, it maybe right around the corner.
Be spontaneous, be full of surprises.
Time spent in prayer is never wasted.
There certain sounds in life that can’t be expressed in words, like the sound of a child when they do a belly laugh, or the first time the words of “I love you” are utter by a true lover, or the sound of the last breaths of a loved one.
Don’t let the busyness of life get in the way what really important in life.
Be respectful.
Try as you might but family will always be family!
The sweetest sound to another’s ear is their name.
Abuse should never be tolerated.
Learn to watch for warning signs, and then do what you have to turn things around.
Live a life with no regrets.
When you fall, remember to get back up and keep going.
Wear your seatbelt.
If life is like a roller coaster, then hold on tight, scream loud and never stop laughing!
You can’t turn back the clock and change some of the mistakes you made in your life, but you can teach kids not to make the same mistakes you did.
There are no “if” in God’s kingdom!
Think twice, speak once!
Try to count the stars!
Oh and don’t forget to smile!

Now this old lady needs to take a nap,

Jacqueline

"Mommy, Look At Her!"

2009-05-29T03:37:00.003-07:00

I was having a rough day, well that would be a great understatement. I woke up late, I was late for work. I wasn’t able to take a shower, my clothes were sorta wrinkled and my hair was a mess! When I get to work it was crazy busy, I was on the go the minute I stepped in. It seemed every call that I answered was just plain rude to me. Everything went wrong and I could go on and on. Minutes before I was supposed to clocked out my boss, yelled at me for something I didn’t do, but I just tried to grin and bare it instead of pointing fingers.

By the time I left work I was wound up tighter then a top and though I was exhausted I knew I needed to unwind. I knew that I would not sleep so I decided to do what every girl out there does when they want to unwind, I went shopping! Well, I knew that I was to upset to think straight so I decide to go shopping at a safe place for my wallet, the Dollar Store.

As I stood in the aisle, looking at who knows what, I heard a small voice beside me.

“Mommy, look at her!”

I looked over to see a small little boy pointing in my direction. For a moment I turned to look past me to see who he might be pointing at, but no one was behind me.

“Mommy, look at her!”

I realized right then that the boy was pointing at me. I know I must look like a fright, I had been up all night and it had been a rough night. I was embarrassed at my state, the poor mom tried to distract the little boy but it was not working.

“Mommy, look at that lady.” As he pulled on his mom’s arm, “Look at her.” It was the next words that shocked me. “Isn’t that lady just beautiful?” I turned and look at the little boy; he was looking up at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I saw a look of awe in his eyes. The mom again tried to quiet him. “She is the prettiest most beautiful lady, I have ever seen.”

At this point I was nearly in tears, I felt like a scrub and this boy was telling me I was beautiful.

“Mommy, you need to see her! She has a beautiful dress on too!” he said still in awe but pulling on her arm. Then he abruptly stopped, and put his eyes directly on his mother’s face, the little boy said in voice of authority, “Mommy, ladies look so much prettier when they wear a dress!”

At this point, I couldn’t stop the tears, the mother, who had her back to me the whole time, decided it was high time to stop her son’s talking. We went are separate ways, but as I went down the next aisle heading for the door. I could still hear the little boy.

“Mommy, where did the beautiful lady with the pretty dress go? Is she a princess? Mommy, why don’t you wear dresses like that pretty lady?”

Poor lady! Tears where just running down my face as I left the dollar store. That boy, made my day, week, month and year!! In just a few moments time, a little boy taught me a few lessons.

1. On a rough day in my life, I will always remember a little boy who thought I was the “Prettiest Most Beautiful Lady” he has ever seen.
2. That no matter what this fashion world tells us, ladies, to one little boy out there “we look so much pettier when we wear a dress!”
3. That sometimes God sends “little angels” to brighten our days to tell us what he thinks of us. So keep an eye out for them!
4. Also, that even on our rough days, God’s light can shine through us so other might say “Mommy, look at her” with eyes of wonder!

Jacqueline

May 26, 1996

2009-05-25T18:15:00.006-07:00

She was just a skinny little 10 year old; she looked like every average kid out there. But if you could of seen her heart you would of seen pain, suffering and bleeding. If you would of seen her soul it was black as coal, old and dirty. On May 26, 1996, in what normally was the cafeteria for the campgrounds, was a small church gathered together for a Memorial Day “Family Camp”. Three little wayward sisters, who had just been introduced to the a "new" part of the family where able to go to this forest retreat. After a service, preached by Bro. Hopkins, who has now gone on to be with the Lord, that skinny little girl stood up wanting to know more. Who would of known on that day, the Windows of Heaven would open and come down to this lost little girl in the world, but Thank God it did happen.

13 years ago today, I was received the gift of the Holy Ghost. Love, Forgiveness, Peace, Joy, Happiness came face to face with Pain, Strife, Sin, Sadness, and Sorrow in one little girl. I loved the feeling but didn’t understand at the time. Growing up catholic this was quite different. With my two cousins, who now are two of my greatest friends stood on either side of me. The night I received the Holy Ghost, Sis. Abbott would write a song that many years later would be sang by that same little girl in the choir one day.

I still can remember that day, it was so distinct in my mind. In my “old age” my heart is tender towards memories like this one. Tears well up in my eyes. While I sang the song of Redemption, the Angels in heaven all stop to listen and they rejoiced. Nothing else would get their attention so strongly. I can’t believe that 13 years later, I would be where I am today. No longer a broken weary little girl, but almost 25 year old young lady walking with my Savior by my side. I’m not perfect but as the kid song goes, He still working on me. I didn’t dedicate my life to God till 2 years later when I was 14. (Yes I know how to count, everything fell near my birthday, Holy Ghost at 10 in 96’ before my birthday and dedicate my life in the summer of 98’ after my 14th birthday. It's not easy doing the math! LOL).

This summer will be 11 years now that I have served the Lord. I don’t regret a day that has gone by. My choose was thought to be influence by others, after all how can a 13 almost 14 year make such a choose. I was not your average teen, I had gone through so much, I was so much older though I look younger. I tell you now no one made me do it, no one brain washed me to live for the Lord. I could of turn my back on Him so many times, but if I turn my back on Jesus, who do I have to turn too. Where could I go but to the Lord.

Sis. Abbott, wrote “Come On In” 13 years ago, the chorus goes like this: “Come On In, Sweet Jesus, Come On In, You know the door is open wide, Come in Sup with us tonight, Filling Us with Holy Ghost Wine, Come On In” For that little 10 year old girl, she did eventually asked to have Jesus Come on In for the rest of her life. The song verse also fit the day she received the Holy Ghost. Verse One: “Well I came into the church house, I was dry, so dry, I needed a Holy Ghost blessing from on High, Well as the church began to sing, those joy bells begin to ring, and I felt a Holy Ghost drenching drawing nigh.” 13 years later, when I am down, when my soul thirst and I hunger for the Lord I can sing the second verse and know that what happen on May 26, 1996, will happen again and I will be able to invite Jesus in again for Supper time. “Well I left a different way then I came in, I left with strength to face a world of sin. And when my cup starts feeling low, there a secret that I know, I just ask for His refreshing once again!”

Jacqueline

Memorial Day ~ Thanks ~

2009-05-25T01:18:00.007-07:00

Memorial Day Weekend is upon us and I want to share my favorite song in honor of our American Soldiers! For my good friends, for my brother, Brian, for those I don't personally know but have fought for my freedom, but mostly for my Grandpa K. Grandpa you fought in World War II, and saw the worst of the worst during those times. I wish I could of heard the stories from you but you would of never share the stories. You were one of the first soldier to step foot on concentration camps and set many people free. I love and miss you Grandpa!

To all my soldiers, my heroes, I can only say Thank you and I know it's not just enough.

Jacqueline

Fallen, But Not Forgotten

By Ray Boltz

He stood beside his daddy

And watched the solders marching by

It was Veteran's Day and he wondered

Why there were tears in daddy's eyes

Later they laid flowers
Beside a monument of stone

He said, My daddy went to fight

And didn't make it home

Fallen, not forgotten

He was a hero

He stood so tall

And forever, we will remember

With honor and glory,

He gave his all

They left behind their families

And the towns where they were born

For the rice paddies of Vietnam

And the sands of Desert Storm

They were soldiers in Korea

And World War One

And World War Two

They paid the price

Some gave their lives

And they fought for me and you

Fallen, not forgotten

They were the heroes

Who stood so tall

And forever, we will remember

With honor and glory,

They gave their all

Now freedom is a blessing

But freedom has a price

And we must remember those

Who paid it with their lives

Remember the...

Fallen, not forgotten

They were the heroes

Who stood so tall

And forever, we will remember

With honor and glory,

They gave their all

Fallen, not forgotten

They were the heroes

Who stood so tall

And forever, we will remember

With honor and glory,

They gave their all

I Want to Be Like the Moon!

2009-05-22T02:55:00.001-07:00

I Want To Be Like the Moon! Because like the moon reflects the light from the sun, I want to relfect the light of the Son of God. Like the moon shine so brightly in the darkness, I want to shine so brightly in this dark world. The moon is not of this world, neither do I want to be apart of this world. The moon makes an affect though on the world, it causes the waves in the ocean, I want to stir up the water of the world. When the moon becomes nothing but a sliver, and is called the "Fingernail of God", I want people to look at me in the tough times and see the "Finger of God" on my life. Like the moon it's surface is not perfect, but the "Man on the Moon" is seen through it's imperfection, I am not perfect either, but through my imperfection I want Him to shined perfectly, and I want people to see His grace and mercy in my life as the "Face of God" Just like the faithful moon rises every evening, I want to be faithful to those around me. I Want to Be Like the Moon. ~Jacqueline~

For Bri

2009-05-18T12:39:00.011-07:00

Hi Bri,

Ok so you have no idea who I am but I'm posting this anyways. Awhile back some of the younger girls in my church were talking about a young girl in California who was very sick, that was you. I can't remember exactly when I first heard about you having cancer. I am a cancer survivor. I was 22 when I was first diagnoised. I have always had a great burden for young ladies so when I heard you were sick it struck even deeper in my heart. I understand what it is like to be sick as a young person. I understand most like better then most, but there some things I don't fully understand.

When I heard the news about you, I would often pray. In fact I did not even know your name until this last year. God has placed several young ladies also were very sick, but you were special to me. You were the girl I didn't know. Now I know your face and name. I see the attitude that you have and I must admit I am ashamed of myself. I did not have such a good and cheerful attitude during that time, I was just barely dragging myself from day to day. I see what you mean to those around you.

On May 8th, I participated in a Relay For Life with the American Cancer Society, an event my work was participating in. I had a luminare dedicated in you honor. I spoke at the Relay, I mention a couple of my young friends who have fought cancer or are currently fighting cancer. I just want you to know that I did this small thing in honor of you.

I know that the American Cancer Society is not going to cure your cancer, but I know a God who can. Even if it takes doctors to do it, like God allowed for me. I pray for strenght for each day for you. One day, I know I am going to give you a hug for reals instead of asking other to do it for me. One day, I'm going to head over there and meet this amazing girl I hear so often about. But most of all, One day Bri, you and I will walk on streets of gold and never have to worry about Cancer again!!!

Your Unknown Friend,

Jacqui

Relay For Life Pictures!

2009-05-18T12:38:00.001-07:00

Please check out the pictures of the Relay for Life on my other blog. You Can Change Lives!

Thanks!!!

Jacqui

Please Pray... Thanks!!!!

2009-05-04T02:23:00.007-07:00

Ok so I try to keep my Midnight Reflection's Blog a story only blog, this is my "Professional" Blog. LOL But I need your prayer! I have 6 days to push a Relay for Life of Scottsdale at my work. The event is on FRIDAY!!!! I only have a handful of walkers, no money raised, but I do have a passion! I have to speak for 5 minutes at the Staff meeting on Thursday morning in front of all of the managers! (Eeeekkkkk!!!) Pray! Pray! Pray! I want to be a witness! I am a Cancer Survivor. I had Thyroid Cancer about 2 years ago and this year it has really hit home all that I went through. God was so good to me and still is!

All I am asking for my few followers to my little blogs is this...

Pray, Pray and PRAY! For me, the Relay and for oh the whole thing!!!

Check out my other blog... YouCanChangeLives.blogspot.com

Or the Direct site at Relay For Life: Jacqueline Cleveland

If you know someone who had cancer add their name to the blog above, I want to honor them at this time, tell me if you had/have cancer. You don't have to share last names if you don't want.

And anyone want to hang out with me at the event you are welcome to it! I will be there from a little before 6p to 6am ish! On May 8th!

Thanks again,

Jacqui

Through the Eyes of Barabbas (Break)

2009-05-01T02:37:00.003-07:00

I apologize to those who have been reading the Story of Barabbas. Between Work, Church and School, plus weddings, ralleys, fundraisers and oh I forgot my love for sleep, I just haven't had time to finish the story. Give me a little bit before I finish it.

Several people have mentioned that they thought Barabbas was just too kind or too nice. I sorta agree, but I also disagree. The story will continue for Barabbas to go on and find out about more and realize later that Jesus took his place in two different ways. When most of us came to God after the world beats us down, we are defeated, brusied and tired. Barabbas in my mind was like that, he spent much time in jail, beaten and hated. He was a menace to society, but after spending possibly years in jail, he might have been calmer, beaten down and not cared for life. I hope this make sense. When I came to God I was at my wit's end, I had no strenght to fight back, my soul was much like Barabbas' life. Locked away in some prison cell destined to die. I did not come to God fighting, I came to God defeated.

I will be possibly revising the story but I would like your imput on it. I will also be in prayer on how God wants me to write this story. Please let me know what you think!!! I will take every comment with an open heart and mind! Thanks again for reading my blog!

God Bless,
Jacqui

Also check out my other blog. This is a project I am working on for the next 8 days, please be in prayer. This is through my work, this is my project for the year. www.YouCanChangeLives.blogspot.com JSC

Through the Eyes of Barabbas (Part 2)

2009-04-16T22:31:00.002-07:00

The young soldier hesitated. Peering side to side, before leaning forward to speak so only the prisoner’s ears could hear and without drawing attention to them. “That is Jesus of Nazareth; he is some religious crazy man. They said he would teach on the hillside, sometimes talking in riddles and stories. They also said he was some type of miracle worker. He healed the sick and raised the dead. He also did miracles with food, multiplying small amount of bread and fish to feed many people and turning water to wine. He could calm the raging sea and even cast devils out of men.”

“Is it true? Did he do these things?” Barabbas asked.

“Who knows, I don’t care what these Jewish dogs do anyways. The Romans have already conquered them; I don’t know why we don’t just stomp the people out instead of put up with them.” The soldier said with an air of carelessness.

“What has he done wrong?” Barabbas said confused.

“I don’t know. Jealous, I guess. He has many followers, but maybe they fear what he had to say. The priest seems to be behind all this. Pilate doesn’t see any wrong in Jesus.”

“So if he done no crime, why is he here? What are they trying to do to this innocent man, this makes no sense. Has this place gone crazy, while I have been cut off from it?” Barabbas was angry, but wasn’t sure why.

“The people are trying to condemn him to death of crucifixion.”

“The people have gone mad, condemning innocent people to death.” Barabbas paused turning to the soldier ever so slightly and pleaded, “But I needed to know one more thing, please tell me why am I here?”

“I really don’t know but you’re about to find out.” The soldiers were signaled to come forward with the prisoners. They grabbed Barabbas and yanked him towards to where Pilate stood over looking a crowd of very angry men.

“But I find no fault in this man at all.” Pilate said to the crowd in frustration. He turned to soldiers and signaled for them to bring the prisoners on either side of him. Barabbas had changed much since the people had seen him, the once strong burly man, was now weaken by starvation, his dirty from lack of care, and his hair had grown long and wild. Yet, a murmur filtered through the crowd, as the people recognized, the murderer and robber, the Notorious Barabbas.

Pilate gave the silent signal before beginning to speak in a more calm voice, “Now at the feast the governor was accustomed to releasing to the multitude one prisoner whom they wished.” Pilate continued on. “I have before you a notorious prisoner called Barabbas, a robber, a murder.” He paused, before going on. “Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?”

Barabbas stood staring at Pilate, he saw that Pilate was a coward. Barabbas knew that he would now be condemned to death. He deserved, he did not ask for mercy, he would not be angry. The man on the other side was innocent and he knew now that in his heart that he was, Pilate saw it too. Barabbas was the guilty one, he was a robber, and he had taken the lives of innocent people. What had this man, Jesus done? He was nothing but a teacher, a healer, a prophet, or maybe something more. Barabbas stood staring at the floor in front of him. He knew these were the final moments of his life.

Pilate’s wife entered, and pleaded with Pilate, “Have nothing to do with that just Man, for I have suffered many things today in a dream because of Him.” Pilate ignored his wife and went again and asked the people again his question.

“Which of the two do you want me to release to you?”, Pilate asked. Time stood still for Barabbas; he clenched his jaw and a waited the crowds answer.

“BARABBAS! Give us Barabbas!” the crowd shouted. Barabbas head shot up, they wanted to release him? How could this be? Barabbas was confused, had he heard the question wrong? Barabbas looked to those around him. Pilate felt dejected, the soldiers look surprised, and Jesus, well he could no explain the look on Jesus’ face at that moment. Barabbas would remember that face for the rest of his life.

Pilate turned to the crowd and asked, “What then shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?”

“Let Him be crucified!” The crowd shouted in response. “Crucify him! Crucify him!” Barabbas knew this was what he deserved not the other man. He deserved to die, and Jesus released. Yet, the tables were being turned.

“Why, what evil has He done?” Pilate pleaded.

But the they cried out all the more, saying, “Let Him be crucified!”

When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, “I am innocent of the blood of this just man. You see to it.”

The crowd shouted back, “His blood be on us and on our children.”

Pilate with his head down, said to the soldiers. “Release him.” The soldiers did not move, confused at what he meant. Pilate turned shouting, “I said release him, release Barabbas just as they said.” Pilate turned to soldiers that stood around Jesus, and said with a much quieter voice. “And do with him just as they said,” before storming out of the room.

Through the Eyes of Barabbas (Part 1)

2009-04-13T03:50:00.002-07:00

What was it like to be there on the day Jesus was condemned to death? What were people thinking when they watched as he was beaten and mocked? Did they realize that Jesus was taking the place for them so that they did not have to die in sin? Many writers have tried to put in words what might have happen as those events unfolded.

I’m not unlike any of those writers, speculating on what might have been the thoughts and feelings of those who stood by. Trying to put in prospective that day; the day that changed the world forever. Doing my best to stay close to what the bible share about the man name Barabbas I hope to shine a new light on the story we know so well.

Because of the length of this story I have split it and will post the story in parts. Please write comments on what you think, and stay tune for the next part of the story.

Jacqueline

Through the Eyes of Barabbas

The slow dripping of the dirty water gently slid down the moss covered cell wall; two dirty chained hands reach from the darkness for the water. Cupped together the shaky hands did their best to gather as much water as they could hold. Slowly the man brought the hands to his broken and chapped lips as he did his best to quench his thirst.

The slow process took all his strength but was vital to his survival, when he had finally gather another cup of water in his hands he slowly brought it again to his lips. BANG! The rattle of cell doors and shouts of soldiers scared the man, making him drop his handful of water. The man swore under his breath. It wasn’t feeding time, and surely they were not coming to torment again. The man resumed his fake position of being passed out in chains, hoping the soldiers might have pity on him today.

Curses of soldiers about the smell of the prison cells, mixed with the groans, cries, and curses of the prisoners filled the air. The normal pitch black room was filled with the light of several torches, which almost burn the prisoners’ eyes with their brightness. The man slumped in his chains, listening to the soldiers’ feet. He would never admit he was scared. He had called men that were scared “weak”, laughing at their fear, taunting them. Yet, years in this miserable cell, the beatings and the near starvation had a way of putting fear in one’s soul. Death seems the only answer, but the way they wanted to put him to death made him fear and tremble in the night when no one else was looking.

The man strain to hear were the foot steps were going, but his heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach when they stopped in front of his cell. The cell door was opened and the soldiers proceeded in.

“Wakey, wakey!,” taunted the large soldier. “Today is your lucky day! Today I finally can squash my favorite little flea and be rid of him.” The other soldiers laughed, and the man did his best not to tremble. “I said, wake up!” The soldier yelled, kicking the man in the side. The man groan then looked at the soldier with burning anger but did not fight back. He had learned the hard way that sometimes doing what they ask was less painful. The head soldier grabbed the crazed hair of the man and yanked him closer to him as he quietly said. “Barabbas, I’ve waited a long time to see the day they would hang you on a tree and leave you to rot. Finally, the day has come!” If Barabbas could he would of spat in the soldier face, but his dry mouth would no allow him so he simple growled back instead. “Unshackle him from the wall and shackle his arms and feet so he can’t run again. Pilate would like to see our little friend!” The soldiers’ laughed as they did their task.

Barabbas knew this day would come, he knew he deserved it. He was a much feared man. He was robber and he stole with no care of who he took from, but mostly he stole the lives of the innocent. He did only what pleased him. For many years he caused fear in the hearts of the people in the land. When he was captured, the people sigh a relief, but they knew that they would not stop fearing until he was dead. He had escaped once and he wreaked havoc on the country side before he was captured again. Now here he was going to his death, condemned to the most painful and shame death of them all, the cruel Roman way of Crucifixion.

He was being brought before Pilate which was a mystery to him, but he didn’t dwell on this. He heard the shouts of angry men, and for a moment he thought he would be thrown to crowd to be ripped limb from limb. Barabbas was shocked it was only the early morning; he had no concept of time in his cell. He had also heard it was Passover time. How long had he been in the jail?

He was brought just outside of what Barabbas assumed was Pilate quarters. Another man stood chained, his back badly broken, which was unusual for a prisoner to be flogged before being brought before a ruler. He had just been flogged the other day, and was spared another since they feared he would die in the process.

Pilate came out and walked up to where Barabbas stood, Pilate did not even look at him. “We have brought Barabbas to you just as you asked.” The soldier said. Pilate only nodded. He walked off to the other man. Pilate had looked worried, very deep in thought, Barabbas noted. But the other man really caught Barabbas’ attention; even through his pain he stood tall like a king. He did not have the appearance of a criminal but that of a normal man. He did not speak angrily but spoke in quiet tones. This man intrigued Barabbas.

Barabbas decided to take his chances and ask the soldier, who that man was, “Who is that other man?”

Hope in the Words of Old

2009-04-07T02:06:00.003-07:00

He was sitting on the side of the hill; it was his first night alone with the sheep. The little boy wanted to be brave but he honestly was a little scared. Gathering the little lamb close in his lap, he began to think of his favorite story, the story of the might leader and warrior Joshua. When he was younger, he and his friends would reenact the Battle of Jericho. They would march around in a circle seven times then shouting like crazy and attacking their pretend enemies and proclaim victory! The boy shivered it seemed so easy then to be brave, now as he heard the howl of a far off wolf he didn’t feel so brave.

"How was Joshua so brave?" He wondered. "Did he ever get scared?" Then he remembered what seemed to be Joshua’s theme for many years. God gave him these words and then Joshua would often say them to his people before a time of trial. What were the words again… oh yes he remember now, “Be Strong and of Good Courage.” He had always imagined Joshua standing before the people. Telling them what God told him to do and then yelling out these words at the end. The boy could imagine that the people would stand up tall and strong, not acting scared.

Here he sat in the darkness with only the moon and stars as lights. Another howl from a distant wolf cried out and he saw the flock stir. He put the little lamb down and reaches for his bag, he pulled out his little harp. He remembers the words of his mother when he received the harp as a gift. “Son, find comfort in your music, if you play it unto the Lord, He will give you hope and comfort and peace.” He knew it would also sooth the sheep and help them to fall asleep.

As he brushed his fingers across the strings, what should he sing about? He wondered as he played a simple tune as he thought on the words of Joshua. He wondered if he would be in great battles like Joshua or be a great leader like him? Would little kids like him reenact things he did? He sighed; he was the youngest of his brothers, just a little Sheppard boy. No matter what happens he knew he could trust in the LORD. He knew now what to sing.

“In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for a house of defense to save me. For thou are my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me and guide me. O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.” (Ps. 31 1-3, 23-24)

Little David smiled as he looked at his settled herd, he knew he could find hope in the words of those who had did great things for the LORD and gone on before him.

This was a writing assignment that my class at C.A.M. had challanged us to do. Sis. Mize gave us each a different scripture on hope, mine was the Ps. 31: 24, the last line of the "song". The story of Joshua is one of my favorites. Most people assume that Joshua's theme was always the "As for me and my house... we will serve the Lord." but what would lead him to say those words might of been from the words God gave to him at the beginning of his leadership, "Be Strong and of Good Courage" This scripture is said seven times in the book of Joshua, to me this was Joshua's theme for his life. When he got to the point that no matter what others do or say, his family WILL serve the Lord came from the words that he held true to his heart in his life. I think that possibly David may have reflected on this same thing when he put that verse in his song. “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord” Ps. 31:24

Jacqueline

Simply Miracles

2009-03-26T04:30:00.004-07:00

Simply Miracles
A Research on Miracles

Miracles, what are they? The dictionary[1] says a miracle means an extra ordinary events manifesting divine intervention in human affairs. Another definition means an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment. What is a miracle? Do they still happen? Here is a simple explanation of what a miracle is and what it can be?

Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary[2] gives a great break down of the various terms of miracles used in the bible. Both in Old and New Testament, miracles of all types are shown. Some translations of the bible (other than KJV[3]) actual translate the words in to the meaning instead of the word “miracle.”

A miracle can be a “sign”; a sign is to denote a miracle that points to a deeper revelation. Miracles can be signs to simply show us a deeper revelation. In Isaiah 7:11, 14, to Ahaz, God gave a sign of the coming of the Lord. “Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” [4] The birth of Jesus, had many signs to show he was the Son of God, the Messiah who they waited for, but when Jesus was older he did not give signs to prove His deity or His messiahship. In fact, he would refuse to work miracles as proofs;[5] he did give evidence/signs to show he was these things. In John 2:11, “This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.” We also see many signs that are miracles, one of the greatest you can see is the gift the Holy Ghost. The evidence of speaking in other tongues, shows that the miracle of the Holy Ghost in the sign of tongues.

Miracles can also be a “wonder” to emphasize the effect of the miracle, causing awe and even terror. Many references to a miracle is the coming of the false prophets to come. False prophets will show signs and wonders, to seduce the people[6]. Miracles that cause wonder are not bad, many of the miracles that the Children of Israel, saw and experience were to teach them to Fear the Lord and have reverence. Miracles do cause us wonders in our lives, many people who saw the miracles for themselves often would marvel and wonder.
They also can be a “work” points to the presence of God in history, acting for mankind. John the Baptist sent two of his disciples to Jesus and asked if he was the one that should come? Jesus responded with telling about his works he had done. “Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see: the blind receiving their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.”[7] Jesus used many miracles to show the work of the Lord.

In the New Testament, miracles are use the term “power” to emphasize God’s acting in strength. Jesus sent his disciples out give them power to do miracles in his name, including casting out devils and healing the sick in His name. Through the Book of Acts and the New Testament shows many examples of the Apostles doing many powerful miracles; all of these done in the name of Jesus. Acts 4:12, tells us there is no other name under heaven.
These are some specific terms then the more general term “miracle”. In Acts 2:43, is a good example of how these can also overlap in meaning and the word miracle can take on more than one term. “…and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles.” Miracles can be a sign to us, it can cause us to wonder, it does a work in our life, and show power all in one miracle.

So the bible is full of many faith lifting stories that show miracles, but how about now. First of all, the bible tells us often to not forget. The Children of Israel were told to not forget about the miracles that happen in Egypt, the Jews still celebrate the Passover to this day. Referring to the bible for example of miracles can uplift to ones faith. Hebrews 13:8 says “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” If he was the same in Bible times then he is the same today and he will be the same in the days to come.

Miracles are everywhere; some are common place things that we have accepted as normal. Through the eyes of a child, the simplest things are miracles. The miracle of a simple flower blooming overnight, the amazing way a bird can fly or simple understanding of their favorite bible story. By seeing miracles in everyday life and accepting the truths, children have the most faith in seeing more miraculous miracles. Jesus says that we need to be like children in order to come in to the kingdom of heaven.[8] Having simple faith in believing and seeing miracles in everyday life, if we can see miracles in everyday life then we can have the faith to see larger miracles in our life.

Even the most intelligent scientist can’t explain certain miracles in this life. When they do they only show ignorance. Look at the bumblebee, according to scientist bumblebee should not fly. Its fat little body should not be held up by it little bitty wings yet the bumblebee is a miracle every time it flies from flower to flower. Any scientist who searches long enough with an open mind can see that the details of this world are so complex, it can’t just happen. The world is a miracle in itself.

If we don’t see a miracle, does it still make it a miracle? C.S. Lewis said, “That one cannot believe a miracle occurred if one had already drawn a conclusion in one’s mind that miracles are not possible at all.” If we don’t open our eyes to the possibility of a miracle we will not see them. A great Christian is often heard saying, “I have never seen a great miracle happen before my eyes.” The same person has also have heard saying, “I don’t believe miracles like in the bible days still happen.” If this person could not see the miracles in the everyday life, how can he see a larger miracle? He would often explain away miracles of others by saying that God would move upon another to be generous when it came to a financial miracle or a food blessing. Having the faith to see small miracles cause us to have faith to see the larger miracles in our lives, otherwise we will simply explain away those miracles also. A miracle will be a miracle, whether those around choose to believe it or not.

Miracles are daily occurrences, the rising sun and perfect harmony of this earth. Miracles are in the birth of a child and the death of a saint. Miracles can be all different kinds they can be in the form of a simple gesture by another, financial blessings. Miracles can come in the form of food. Miracles may not come till much later. Other times God does miracles that were not what we thought we needed but exactly perfect for us. Miracles come to us in many different ways, from an unknown giver to a church body. Miracles can be as small as a hug from a child or the smile from a stranger. Miracles can be the squeeze of the hand brain dead family member to the sprouts of hair from a cancer patient. Miracles can be quick brought on by call in the name of Jesus right before a possible car accident. Other can be from years and years of prayer. Miracles can be the healing of a broken heart or the mending of a family. One of the most important miracles is the miracle of the Salvation. Miracles are everywhere if we choose to see them.

I try to think of a miracle in my life for this project, but I had so many. As I thought back, I thought of miracles that have happen. Ones that were small, others that were large, we don’t have a lot of faith just a grain of faith to for a miracle to happen. To pick just one miracle to talk about, well I couldn’t think of just one, there were just too many miracles in my life.

[1]*All bible references are from The King James Version, unless other noted.*
[1]Merriam-Webster.com
[2]Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary
[3]The King James Version
[4] Isaiah 7:14; KJV
[5] Reference Mark 3:23-30; Luke 11:29-32
[6] Paraphrased Mark 13:22
[7] Matthew 11: 1-5; Quoted Matthew 11:4b-5; KJV
[8] Paraphrasing Matthew 19:14

Research paper I put together for C.A.M.P. Please let me know what you think!

A Little Rant & Rave about "Ring Around the Rosy"

2009-03-06T03:55:00.004-07:00

A little rant and rave and small solution! LOL

Ok so this is supposed to be my stories and such but I have to give background for this one in order to show why I wrote this song. In high school I studied the origins of many nursery rhymes and fairy tales. It quite an amazing the history and don't recommend studing to hard or all your innocent nursery rhymes will no longer be so innocent.

One particular one always stuck out to me. "Ring Around the Rosy" this is the one most kids know and sing. You know how it goes, holding hands in a circle and going around while singing it and when it comes to an end falling to the ground. Kids love it!!! I had studied this and have also heard it preached on. Br. Pixler talked about what silent messages are being sent to our kids, this was just a small example in that message. That message made such an impact that years later many people remember from a campmeeting. Here is the origin of the song according to Rhymes.org.uk

Origins of "Ring around the rosy" in English History
Connections to the Bubonic Plague (Black Death)? The words to the Ring around the rosy children's ring game have their origin in English history. The historical period dates back to the Great Plague of London in 1665 (bubonic plague) or even before when the first outbreak of the Plague hit England in the 1300's. The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies! The death rate was over 60% and the plague was only halted by the Great Fire of London in 1666 which killed the rats which carried the disease which was transmitting via water sources. The English version of "Ring around the rosy" replaces Ashes with (A-tishoo, A-tishoo) as violent sneezing was another symptom of the disease.

According to Snopes.com This false. But if you read on you will find that a lot of the traditions of the times were superstitions.

For years this has bothered me, I have prayered and ask song writers to write an alternative. To make a long story short at College of Apostolic Ministries of Phoenix the subject came up. I had already decided that a good alternative would be a bible story and Jerico would be the best. It can also be sung and acted out the same was as the orginal. So here is what Cara, Denae and I came up with it goes to the tune of "Ring Around the Rosy"

Marching Around Jerico
Marching Around Jerico
They Blew the Horn
Obeyed the Lord
The Walls Came Tumbling Down

So spread the word and teach the kids the new song!!!!

Ok off of my soapbox for now!!!

Jacqueline

I Will Never Leave You

2009-02-13T04:56:00.008-07:00

A Journey with Cancer

“For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrew 13:5

“Honey, you need to breath NOW.” “I will never leave you.” “Nothing wrong with you, you are just stressed.” “I will never leave you.” “You really need to see a specialist and soon.” “I will never leave you.” “We are going to do more test.” “I will never leave you.” “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer.” “I will never leave you.”

“The doctor won’t see you” “I will never leave you.” “The lump has grown drastically.” “I will never leave you.” “We need to reschedule your surgery again.” “I will never leave you.” “You don’t have cancer.” “I will never leave you.” “Calm down, you’re ok. Hold her down so she doesn’t hurt herself.” “I will never leave you.” “There is no doubt in my mind it was cancer and it was all over.” “I will never leave you.”

“You will be radioactive for just awhile.” “I will never leave you.” “If you don’t slow down and take care of yourself. You are not going to live to see your next birthday.” “I will never leave you.” “You should be in a coma right now.” “I will never leave you.” “I proud to tell you that you are in remission.” “I told you I will never leave you.”

I sat staring at the email in front of me and the questions before me. “Describe your cancer experience.” I fought back tears, as I struggled to remember. Thyroid Cancer had a way of fogging your mind. That year is built in my mind from a second hand experience from pictures; stories and vague memories, even thought it was my life. The only thing I remember is distinct moments when I face to face with harsh news; even then it was more of a dream then reality.

When I was in my late teens, I began to have warning signs that most doctors should of notice right away but I never saw my doctor, he was too busy. Instead I saw assistances and nurses and never the same one twice. One Sunday, I began having a tingling in my face, hands and toes for no reason. By the end of Sunday Night service, I had no feeling in my face, hands and feet and I simply panic and stop breathing. I end up going to the hospital; the doctors all shrugged it off as a panic attack, instead of the real reason extreme deficiency of calcium.

It was years later in 06’, when I was 21 that I finally was able to go back to my doctor who was my doctor for years. The quiet reserved old doctor look at me and told me that I need to go see an endocrinologist. But it took a youth trip that I was so sick that I spent most of the trip in misery. I struggled to breath even in the clear mountain air, I was extremely nauseas and many were mad thinking I was going to get them sick. When I return from my trip, I schedule an appointment which wasn’t till three months later.

The next couple months were a blur of appointments, test, and blood work. I was going in nearly weekly and even sometimes three or four times in a week. My doctor was not very talkative but the day that the test required a needle biopsy in my neck, I wouldn’t let him do a thing till he answers my questions. A week later, I found out I had Papillary Thyroid Cancer. I was too shocked to do a thing and the whole day I spent in a daze.

My doctor said it was good cancer because the survival rate is high but I have found through the years it is the most misunderstood cancer out of all the cancers. Treatment is so different, but no matter what cancer will always be cancer. Because I was diagnosed in December my doctor put everything off till the New Year. It wouldn’t be until March that I would see him again, during that time he realize the mistake of ignoring in me for so long. My cancer was growing fast. I became very sick. I couldn’t eat, I was nausea almost all time, and I began losing weight and became almost ghostly white.

I began searching for a surgery, the first doctor I saw seem like a quack doctor to me. He had magazine in his lobby that was older than me. I was always brought to a kid’s examining room and the doctor wanted to take out my tonsils more than the cancer. Then he became very angry with me when I said I had an appointment with another surgeon for a second opinion. I never came back and pray that I would find another doctor.

God bless me with a good surgeon, one of the best in the areas but he was overbooked and my surgery was rescheduled a couple times, but the date was set in early May of 07’ It wasn’t till 24 hours before the surgery, I realize the extent of what I was about to go through. I had to sign papers, make decisions most people at age 22 should never go through. My surgeon told my family that I did not have cancer and this confused me. I had been told many times that I did. I felt like a liar and began to wonder if I had misheard something. I was an emotional wreck as they pulled me away and for one moment I just wanted to run away. The three hour surgery turned into a four and half hour surgery. When I awoke, I came up fighting! I had six nurses holding me down which scared me horribly.

The one night stay in the hospital turn into six long days. The night of the surgery, the surgeon came in to check in on me. My family was all sitting around; I had to know one thing. I had indeed had cancer and it had been on both sides of the thyroid lobes and in six lymph nodes, which was all removed. I also had a tumor on my parathyroid; two were missing and only one good parathyroid which was transplanted into my arm.

The next couple weeks, I was just simply recovering and the first time is started feeling better. June, I was put on a strict diet to prepare for radiation. I would become radioactive for a couple days and would be restricted from being around people. My doctor refused to sign a release from work even though I wasn’t allowed to be around people. My doctor called me all kinds of names, I remember keeping my cool and walking out of his office forever. The radiologist instead signed the release forms.

In June, I had radioactive iodine, a pill that in a sense made me radioactive. For three days I was cut off from the world, I felt quite alone. I began to feel sick from the radiation and because I wasn’t under the care of a doctor and I struggled to find another doctor. I began getting so sick for the next couple months I became so weak I was forced to use a cane to get around. My joints hurt, I was exhausted and I had no desire to eat. I thought if I kept pressing on I could overcome it. My doctor told me otherwise and said I won’t see my 23rd birthday.

In the process of time, I finally was able to get into Mayo Clinic with an incredible doctor. Within just a few visits I began to get well. My cane was gone, I began to be able to function normal and my strength was a little better. The days that follow were simply taken one day at a time. I had setbacks, I had struggles but with God’s help I made it through.

I look again at the questions that the Thyroid Cancer Survivor Association had sent me. She wanted to write an article about my experience. “How did you feel when you were first diagnosed?” “How did cancer affect you?” “How did it change your life?” But one question pop out at me the most. “What is the most distinct moment or moments during this time?”

That would be easiest question to answer. When nothing seam clear, and daily activities became a challenge. Times when I would start driving and not remember where I was going, when I couldn’t remember what I was doing at that moment. Times when I couldn’t move because I was in pain, times when others didn’t believe me. Times when I would cry out to God asking Him where He was, times when I tried to quote scripture for comforter but could not remember any. During the times when confusion made it ruckus, when ignorance spoke boldly and when fear was strongest. It was in these moments when I would hear a still small voice, which simply said, “I will never leave you.”

Jacqueline

Two Poems

2009-02-09T04:41:00.006-07:00

An old poem I wrote about 8 plus years ago easily. I'm not sure if I have it right I did it from memory.

Forever Friends

Silly old pictures put away in old albums
And pastime giggles forgotten or lost
Promises untold and wishes all the same
Dreams that were broken or just putaways
Secrets unfold and doors seem to open

One by one we go our way
All over but just the same
We send a prayer each and every way
All though we will miss you
We cherish you just the same
Forever and ever you will always be
My forever friend you and me

My niece, Aurora turn seven last week and I bought her a kid's bible. I wanted to write something in her bible from me. I had about five minutes and this is what I wrote.

Aurora's Bible

Keep this book near to you
The Words are pure and true
This is God's guiding light
The sharpest sword in the fight
It will always stay the same
And tell you about the greatest name
This will show salvation's way
That I pray you'll understand one day

I think I might add more to Aurora's Bible Poem. I will post a revised one if I do.
Jacqueline

How did you feel when you came out of the wilderness?

2009-01-30T01:41:00.004-07:00

Ok I wanted to stay away from just blogging "non stories" but I would like to ask for assistance for a story. I got inspired on the way home from work, when I saw a building that use to be a church we rented. It now a coffeehouse. But I was wondering if you could tell me in one or two paragraphs about when you got the Holy Ghost.

Where where you? How old? Can you tell exactly what happen? Who preached? What was significate about the day? Anything unique about the experience that pops out at you? Can you go back to the place you recieved the Holy Ghost? Has it changed any? I want to do an article on this and post it here.

I've heard of people getting the Holy Ghost at home, in a car, outside or during a normal church service. I also know that some of the place people got the Holy Ghost are now coffee shops, a parking lot or can still after many many years been pointed out.

Please DO NOT POST it here... Please simply email me at Jacquelinesc84@gmail.com It doesn't half to be long. For example my story...

I was 10 and have no knowledge of the truth when I got the Holy Ghost. I went to my current church's family camp up in Prescott, AZ. Being a smaller church the campground (that the district use to own) had a santuary that was very large. So instead we split the cafeteria up into the church and seating for eating. When I stood up and began to pray, I rememeber being told that I needed to repent. Growing up Catholic, I repented like any catholic would confessing each sin. Like hitting my brother, or saying a bad word. LOL I rememember that Bro. Hopkins preached but don't think I paid one ounce of attention to it. I rememeber think Bro. Hopkins was an old man and now I realize that he was not much older than I am now! LOL Sis. Abbott wrote a song that I now sing the solo part in our choir on the song. "Come On In" I have a lot of memories of eating camp food both good and bad in that cafeteria. I can rememember doing crafts, and bible lessons there. I can rememeber water fights and late night snacks and meetings in that Cafateria but the greatest is the night I got the Holy Ghost.

Please email me your story to jacquelinesc84@gmail.com Thanks a million!!

Jacqueline

An Old Fashion Testimony Service

2009-01-22T05:08:00.004-07:00

*This is what I call a story song; it is a story that is created that incorporates a song. The story may sound good on paper but it mostly meant to be told. The lines in Italics Bold are simply meant to be sung. The goal is draw the audience into the story and then incorporating a very familiar song. The story is then ended in a song, to allow the congregation to get involved in worshipping the Lord. I don’t know if anyone else has ever done this or what the real what it called. But I found I enjoy this style of putting together, music, story telling and writing all wrapped into one for the praise and worship of my Lord Jesus Christ. Please comment I would like to know what you think. JSC*

An Old Fashion Testimony Service

It was the first day of the week on a very warm day in Jerusalem, the saints had gathered together for a special service. A well known preacher was in town and so the church was packed. But even with all the excitement the service was quite dry. Many people complained about the heat and fan themselves, babies cried because they were hot and it seems the energy from the youth had been zapped out of them because of the warmth. The poor worship leader tried with all his might to encourage the church to worship but to no avail. That when the idea struck him, what they needed was a reminder of God’s goodness, they needed a testimony service. “Before we ask our special speaker to come up,” he said, “could I get a few testimonies?”

Sitting only a few rows back a woman stood, her garments were of rich color and she arose with much grace and elegancy. “I would like to testify and tell a story that has been told to me many times even though it happened to me.” The worship leader waved to have her continue. “Many of you know I was the daughter of a ruler in the Synagogue name Jairus, I was his only child and my father loved me very much. I was quite spoiled by him to be honest.” This made many in the congregation chuckle and even she had to smile before going on.

“My father would have given me the world if I had only asked. I had the finest clothes, education and food. So when I became sick at the age of 12, I had the best doctors in the land attending to me. Yet, to no avail I became worst and my father became desperate. He had heard of a man who was healing those who were sick. So my father decided that he must go to him at once.

“My father rushed to were the man name Jesus was at and he pushed his way through the crowd. And pleaded to him to come to our house so they proceeded back home. During this I am told that that Jesus became distracted with a woman, who also wanted to be healed. A servant from our house found my father and told him some disturbing news, I had died. My father not wanting disturbed the master any further was about to just go on when Jesus spoke the words. ‘Be not afraid, only believe’. Jesus, my father and many other continued on to the house. It is told that the mourners mocked Jesus when he said that I was only asleep.

“The next moments were very distinct in my life, the last I had remembered was being so sick then going into darkness, the next I remember hearing a voice that was like a light into the darkness. A voice that is very familiar but one I had never really heard before, saying ‘Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.’ Jesus then took my hand and pulled me up. I was dead and gone, “she stopped and then simple ended with a smile, “He healed my body.”

Then an older very husky and tall man that sat in the back arose wanting to also testify stood to his feet. Many of the kids called him Grandpa Bear because he was large, strong and hairy but yet very sweet. He would tell stories to them and tease and play with them. Yet, when he stood they knew the story that he was about to share, it was the one that made the kids cling to their dads and hide behind their mom’s skirts.

The man stood and began to speak in his big booming voice. “Legion, their name was Legion because they were so many. I was possessed with so many devils, and night and day I would roam in the mountains and in the tombs. I would cry and cut myself with stones.” He stopped and pulled up his sleeves to his elbows revealing ugly scars. “I was mad, crazy and not safe. Men tried to bind me with chains on my arms and legs but I would break them loose. I was known through out the land and men were scared of me.

“Then the day came when a man came by boat to where I lived, I felt drawn to the man and I began to worship Him. The devil within me trembled and begged Jesus not to torment them. Then I heard him say those precious words, ‘Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit!’ They immediately left me and went into a herd of swine, which is told that went wildly into the sea and drowned.

“The people in that city had seen what happen when they came they were astonished at me. For there I was sitting clothed and in my right mind, I thought before that they were scared but when they saw me they were very afraid. They asked Jesus to depart from the city. I asked if I could go with him but Jesus told me, ‘Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.’ I would have loved to follow Jesus but he asked me instead to share my story. You may get tired of hearing my testimony but I will continue on sharing it till the day I die.” The large man with tears in his eyes stop and said, “He touched my mind.”

Before another person could testify the special speaker tapped the shoulder of the worship leader. “I would like to testify at this time.” The worship leader step back and allowed the minister speak. “I was a murder and I thought I was doing it all for the Lord. I thought Christians were going against the Holy Scripture. I thought I could force the law on the people. I had permission to rid Damascus of these people that I despised.”

The minister paused and took a deep breath then continued, “On the road to Damascus I was struck down by a bright light and a voice from the heavens and said, ‘Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?’ I cried out saying, ‘Who art thou Lord?’ and the Lord replied, ‘I am Jesus whom thou persecutest’ he told me to go into the city and it would be told what I should do. When I arose I was blind, and I had to be led by the hand into the city. And for three days I did not eat or drink.

“There was a godly man in the city that had a vision from the Lord, a man name Ananias. He was told to find me and when he came into the house where I was and laid his hands on me praying that I would receive my sight and the Holy Ghost. I receive the Holy Ghost and my eyes were opened in many ways. The road hasn’t always been easy but the road I was on was leading to destruction.” Then Paul who used to be called Saul stopped and said, “He saved me just in time.”

The worship leader stood and approached the front; he had a song on his heart that seemed right for the moment. The musicians started to play the song and the church rose their feet. The heat didn’t seem so unbearable now. As song started the first line made them think…

“Look What the Lord Hath Done…”

As they looked around they started remembering the story behind many of the saints that sat among them. There was Blind Barnabas who even in his old age still had incredible sight. Then there was the Amen Corner with all the older ladies of the church sat. These women had many different encounters with the Jesus too. There was the Woman who was at the well, and the good friend of Jairus’ daughter, the woman who had the issue of blood for 12 years. There was Mary Magdalene and Martha, her sister. There were men who once had Leprosy but Jesus touched them and healed them! A man who even though he was older would leap for joy because once he was lame and could not walk. There was those that sat on the hillside listening to Jesus and were feed spiritually and physically.

“Look What the Lord Hath Done…”

Well now those around Jairus’ little girl who walk with the grace and dignity of any queen, had to move out of her way. Because when she started elbowing for more room you had to watch out because she could cut a rug like no other. In her soprano voice you could hear her say…

“He Healed My Body…”

Grandpa Bear claps could be clearly heard through out the church and he would sing loudly his favorite part…

“He Touched My Mind…”

Even the ministers were getting with it. Shouting all over the platform and Paul wouldn’t be out done by those younger then him…

"He Saved Me Just In Time…”

The service was no longer dry; the Spirit of God filled the house like no other as the church shout and praised the Lord.

“Each Day He Just the Same…”

If God has not changed, and if we begin to look around and see what the Lord hath done then we might also be reminded of the miracles in our lives and others.

“I’m Going to Praise Him…”

I’m going to are you going too?

“Come Help Me Praise Him…”

Maybe you should ask your neighbor to help you.

“Look What the Lord Hath Done”

So why don’t your Look and See what the Lord Hath Done.

“Look What the Lord Hath Done
Look What the Lord Hath Done He Healed My Body
He Touched My Mind
He Saved Me Just In Time
I’m Going to Praise Him
Come Help Me Praise Him
Look What the Lord Hath Done”

What Do You Mean It's Over?!?!

2009-01-05T02:16:00.001-07:00

Politically Correct Christmas... I mean Holiday

2008-12-10T08:22:00.006-07:00

NEWS FLASH - The Politically Correct Police have stormed the country this Christmas… Holiday. Watch out they may invade you town at anytime! If you don’t want to persecute or possibly offend someone else, we advise you at this time to do the following. Please remove all “Christmas” from all your Holiday display. The word has “Christ” in it and to the unbeliever this might upset them. From now on all Christmas items will be replaced with the word “Holiday”. They will be Holiday Cards, Holiday Cookies, Holiday Trees, Holiday Songs, and so on.

Santa Clause has been sued. We tried to speak to Santa but only his lawyer was reached. Mr. Scrooge D. Elf, Santa’s lawyer was only able to give us a statement and unable to answer questions. The following is Santa’s Christmas…Holiday changes.

“Mr. Clause, from this day forward will no longer say ‘Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night’ instead he will be saying the statement. ‘Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night’.

Mr. Clause will also not be checking to see if the kids have been naughty or nice. For if a child receives a lump of coal this Christmas … Holiday it might offend him. Thus every child, no matter what state of behavior, we must give a toy. Every child will also must receive every item off his wish list or the belief of Santa will be lost.

Mr. Clause, will no longer be known as St. Nick, this might offend those who do not believe in Saints, this is religious term. Mr. & Mrs. Clause will also be put on a strict diet because their unhealthy state of weight is not a good role model to the kids. We ask that instead of Christmas…Holiday cookies that you place Slim Fast and Weight Watchers Granola Bars.

The twelve reindeer have now been replaced with other such animals. Deer, Bears, three fish, Cats, a bird and a skunk, will now pull Mr. Clause’s sled. We felt that it might offend the other animals if we use only reindeer. Rudolph will not be able to pull the sled this year and neither will the twelve reindeers because of the Rudolph’s lawsuit. Just a reminder, that it is not nice to make fun of a reindeer with red noses. Thank you.” ~ Mr. Scrooge D. Elf, Santa's Lawyer.

We do have an update on Mr. Tiny Tim. It seems that he is doing well after all his counseling that he has received. He will return to the Cratchit family, after he was removed for making the statement. “God Bless us, every one.” It seems that the Cratchit parents had some type religious influence on him, causing him to make that statement. If this happens again, Tiny Tim will be removed and put in a foster home with gay parents and drug addicted foster siblings, which will be a better place for Tiny Tim. Mr. & Mrs. Cratchit will be jailed.

You will also be seeing the following new stories on the bookshelves this Christmas…Holiday Season. “The Holiday Carol”, “ Twas the Night before the Holidays”, “The Gift from Maggie” and “The Best Holiday Pageant Ever”. Also most of you favorite Christmas…Holiday Songs have been changed. “We Wish You a Merry Season” “Have yourself a Happy Little Holiday” “I heard the Bells on that Holiday Day” and “We Need a Little Seasons Greetings”. Any songs that refer to a babe born in Bethlehem, or Angels, Shepherds, Wise Men or a Manger will not be sung this year.

Also the 25th of December will no longer be called Christmas Day. Since Holiday is such a generic term, the day will now simply be called "25th of December", just as Cinco De Mayo is called in Spanish the 5th of May. The 24th will simply be called the "25th of December Eve".

Again, we warn you of the following changes. Just incase, you get caught offending another. We do hear that many Christians are offended by these changes, but that doesn’t matter. The Bible tells them not to be offended, so this should pass once they pray thought about it.

For now we would like to say… “Happy Holiday” or “Seasons Greetings” or maybe “Happy Greetings” or “Seasons Holidays” or maybe “Holiday Greetings” oh forget it.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jacqueline S. Cleveland

PS. Oh tell my family I love them and Merry Christmas, the Politically Correct Police have finally caught up with me!~

Thanksgiving Dinner

2008-11-18T04:17:00.002-07:00

It was thanksgiving day and the feast was spread out. The turkey was the finest meat that could be bought, flavored to perfection, juicy and tender and sliced by a pro. The stuffing was made from scratch, and so was the cranberry sauce with fresh berries. The vegetables were fresh and were cooked just enough to make them have a crunch. The salad was made with the best and freshest vegetables, thinly sliced cucumbers, shredded carrots, purple cabbage pieces, homemade crotons, topped off with small cherry tomatoes. The deserts were a works of art. Pumpkin pies made from fresh pumpkins and seasoned with nutmeg and ginger, and perfect spirals of whip cream swirled on top. Berry pies were made from fresh berries and had perfect homemade crust. Some of the best chefs in the area had special prepared the meal and did not hold back on any of their talent for the special occasion.

They even redid the dinning room for thanksgiving. No plastic tablecloths, instead white clean cloth ones and beautiful arrangements were on display. The normal plastic plates and paper cups were replaced with fine china and glasses. Everyone had gone way out to make thanksgiving meal perfect. Than why did I and my co-workers sit picking at our tasty meals and lost in thought?

It had to be one of the finest thanksgiving meals I had ever tasted. Yet I overheard the cafeteria workers say that so much food was wasted that day. Not even the big hardy working guys went back for seconds, let alone finish eating what was on their plate. The usual conversation was quite, and even small talk was hardly heard. Why? Our thoughts were at home. The meal at home probable was not the finest meal. The turkey was what was on sale, and possible over cooked making it a tiny bit dry. The stuffing was Stovetops and 90% chance it was chicken flavored. Canned vegetables, and bagged salad was probable how the veggies were made that year. The cranberry sauce was “freshly” taken from the can and still holds the shape of it’s former home. Pumpkin pies may had come out a little deformed but were quickly covered by the store bought whip cream. The berry pie was Maria Calendar’s famous frozen pie that had been slightly over cooked when it had been forgotten about in the oven, because someone was telling a story of a thanksgiving from years ago.

No, the fine china was not used due to the amount of people, instead thick paper plates and red plastic cups. Not enough tables and chairs were available and so some of the kids ate on the floor with plates in their laps. People eat till they were overflowing and still went back for more. Laughter and talk was ringing through out the house. Clean up had everyone participating and hardly any food was thrown out.

So what was the difference between these meals? Simple, no it wasn’t the food or fine way everything was displayed. In the first dinner, it made me realize how important family is to me. I spent that thanksgiving at work and nearly cried the whole time on my lunch break and I wasn’t the only one that day. So what am I thankful for this year? No not a fine dinner, to me it wouldn’t matter if we ate cold pizza, yet if I could spend it in the company of family and friends, I found I can have thanksgiving dinner all year long. So this year I’m thankful for well you guessed it, my family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jacqueline

A Hundredfold

2008-10-29T04:40:00.009-07:00

“Social Suicide,” Becky said “That is totally social suicide!” A group of cheerleaders sat in a semicircle around me, eight of them to be exact. It was the week of Cheerleading camp and the coach had sent them.

“Come on, this a chance of a lifetime.” Another Cheerleader, Jenny says. “Once you are a cheerleader it a ticket into the ‘In Crowd’, the friends, the status, the parties and of course” she said with a sigh, “the boys!”

Katie, the team leader, hadn’t said much which was unusual for her. She was a good friend to me. She had been the only one who reached out to me the year before when I came in halfway through the school year. She encouraged me to try for my dream of cheering again, after I had to change schools and lost my place on my former team. She made me try out for the High School Cheer Team and cried with me when I didn’t make the team. Katie argued with the coach saying it wasn’t fair that we did not even do actual try outs. How they didn’t pick me when only 10 tried out for a team of 9 and I was picked off the team for no logical reason.

“But how about your dreams?”, Katie speaking up, “Being apart of the cheer team? We need a flyer and you have experience! This is what you worked for, this is what you wanted. With the whole switch up with the teams, I’m short a team mate and I want you on the team. Everything is set, we just need to order a new uniform for you. Everything is paid for, and all of the team wants you. It your dream and everything is set for you. Why are you passing this up?”

“Things have changed I just can’t explain it.” I replied, “I no longer want to be apart of cheer team.”

“Social Suicide that what it is, social suicide, in other words there goes all your friends right out the door.” Becky pipes up and uses her fingers to demonstrate all my friends walking out the door.

“Hush Becky, you don’t know what you are talking about! She will always be apart of us, even if she not a cheerleader. We have plenty of friends that are not in cheer, she one of us.” Katie said harshly. Becky looked annoyed then went back to applying make up to her already overly makeup face. Katie turned back to me and quietly said, “Even if no one else is your friend, I will be yours friend, always! I promise!”

The conversations continue on, the eight girls tried everything, bargain, threats and begging. The coaches called me on the phone and enticed me with all kinds of things. Katie and I spent time together discussions, she often would ask if I could be apart of the team because we were friends. Yet, I wouldn’t budge, why? It was that summer that I dedicated my life to God and I knew that being apart of the cheer team was not something that God would want me to do.

As school started up, the cheer team kept their word and allowed me to be apart of them. I sat with them at lunch, hung out with them and I was apart of the “In Crowd”. But overtime, I realize that this was not a group of friends I spend my time with, I had changed too much. I wasn’t interested in the parties, team, and the high school guys, and they were not interested in God, church and things in that nature. Overtime we all drifted apart. By the end of the school year, the team didn’t even remember me and even Katie only said Hi in passing. I had become the girl who sat alone at lunch.
_______________________________

“There’s Devi,” Mary whispered, “and they brought their youth this year.” We both leaned forward and waved across the aisle. Devi noticed and waved back and other in her group did also.

“Did you notice the groups from Texas are here?” I said to Mary. She nodded.

“It so good to see them, I wish we could see them more often.” Mary replied, I agreed.

“I saw the girls from California that we met last year are here.” Janelle said joining the conversation. Before any of us could reply, the service began. I looked around it was so good to see so many friends. I love convention for the fellowship with God and with friends.

As service continued, Rev. Tommy Johnson got up and told a story about when he was about 19; he had a chance at a career in music. Yet, God had different plans, he forsook his dreams and laid down his guitar and followed God. He left behind, singing in front of big crowds, he left behind a guitar and left behind a “chance of a lifetime”. He realized years later that God had blessed him and now instead of the one guitar, he had three much better guitars. He also could sing and play for God almighty the greatest of them all. He didn’t leave behind a “chance of a lifetime” but he instead got a chance of eternal life. He punctuated his story by singing in front of a crowd around a thousand people who stood on their feet, praising God!

After an awesome service, we spent much time fellowshipping and catching up with old friends. There were kids from over 10+ states, and more coming later on in the week.

“Finally, I can say Hi!”, She said grabbing me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you! I’ve been trying to say Hi ALL night. You are quite the popular!”

I laughed and replied, “I’m not popular, just well known.”

“Whatever you want to call it, you have tons of friends. I can imagine in high school, everyone must of known you.” She said.

I just smiled and nodded, thinking if she only knew. Yet, I stood there in the mist of friends. It was only ten years ago, that I sat alone in the cafeteria in high school. Now I looked around and saw that now I had more friends then popularity of the cheer team could ever give me. I had friends that I had met through the years that would pick up from where we left off even if it was years between the times we met.

Then I remember the scripture that Rev. Johnson had mention earlier in the service. Mark 10:29-30

“And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath
left house, or brethren, or sister, or father, or mother, or wife, or children,
or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s But he shall receive an hundredfold now
in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and
lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.”

I realize that God had blessed me with a hundredfold when it came to friends. I knew people from all over the states, and even a few around the world. I may have sacrificed my chance of popularity in high school but now I had more friends then I could count. I knew that God was too good to me.

Much later that evening, I started thinking about Katie. She was good friend, I had seen her at the bank and recognized her right off, but she barely recognized me. From a mutual friend I found out that she got into drinking and nearly lost her status on the cheer team. My heart hurt for her, and I started remembering about how she was a good friend. God had given me more friends then I can count, but I had lost a good friend.

Then I realized I had not, I had gained even greater closer friends. Friends I could cry with, friends I could laugh, giggle and joke with, friends to share secrets with and talk about boys with. I looked around, in the hotel suite that several girls were sharing. They were all over the room, laughing and talking and giggling over silly things. The girls in my youth group had become close friends with me. They knew my hopes and dreams and helped me to strive for them. They fought for things for me. I thought again about Mark 10: 29-30, and thought how Rev. Johnson had left behind a guitar and could gain more later on. I now understand why God lead me to leave behind friends so I can receive a hundredfold of friends in return.

“There is no man that hath left (friends), for my sake, and the gospel’s But he
shall receive a hundredfold now in this time, and in the world to come eternal
life.”

*Dedicated to the LLOL, you are my hundredfold and more.*

Count Your Blessing

2008-10-24T13:30:00.005-07:00

It had been a rough week; nothing seemed to have gone right. Between frustrations at work, car trouble, every growing pile of bills, mounds of laundry, I was just overwhelmed. My plans for Saturday had all changed and items that needed to be completed still sat untouched. I was glad for Sunday and the normality it brings, and the encouragement I hoped to receive that morning. Yet, the singing didn’t uplift my weary soul, I was too grumpy to let others encourage me, and though the sermon was good but my mind had been too distracted to get the full meaning of it. I left service that morning much like I had come and was more frustrated with myself for not trying to get more out of it. That’s when a scripture came to my mind I Thessalonians 5:18.

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

I realized I need to stop and count my blessings. It didn’t start off to good but it did get better…

“I thank God for my job though I’m frustrated with it, I do have a job. I thank God for my car, even though it guzzles gas, always seem to being having trouble, generally it gets be around very faithfully. I thank God for good health. Thank God for it being Sunday and I don’t have to work. Thank God for a church and a church building I can go too. Thank God for a country that allows religious freedom.” And on I went.

By the time I had arrived home my soul was uplifted and so encouraged! I stepped out of my car with a big smile and said out loud, “And thank God that I have a place I can call home!” I punctuated my sentence with closing my car door!

Oh how grand I felt! Almost instantly I seemed to hear a mocking laugh in my head, it was then I realized my mistake. Sitting inside my locked car sat my keys, and the Devil was laughing at me. Here I had finally encouraged myself in the Lord and I was back to my old state of mind. Locked out of my home, locked out of my car and what am I going to do. In my frustration, all the Devil did was laugh at me.

Again the scripture came to mind again, “In every thing give thanks:” Not in some things, not in just the happy or good things, but in EVERY THING. That means the bad times, sad times, and the frustrating times.

So I began again. “Well Thank God the car is not running. Thank God that I’m at least home and not in a strange place. Thank God for a lovely day and that it not raining or hot or something worst. Thank God for my cell phone I can call someone. Thank God that I have my purse with my id and money. Thank God for….” That is when I stopped. A smile came across my face and I said out loud, “And Devil this one is for you, Thank God that the other day I made a duplicate key for my car and left it in my purse!”

Count your Blessings,
Name them one by one
Count your Blessings,
See what God has done,
Count your Blessings
Name them one by one,
Count your many Blessing
See what God has done!

A Girl In 'Love'

2008-10-14T04:25:00.005-07:00

A Girl in “Love”
October 7, 2008

The following is a conversation between two girls and her thoughts and what it is like to be in “Love.”

Suzy: Hey
Miriam (thinking): Hey, that what he said to me. Well he said it to the group but he said it directly to me. He had that crooked smile and he said Hey in that cool smooth voice of his.
Miriam: Hey
Suzy: What’s up?
Miriam (thinking): What’s up? What’s up?!? He up! He is ssssoooo tall and handsome. I have to look up to see into his coffee colored eyes, not that I have had the guts to actually look at his eyes. I just know because I saw a picture of him that my friend had on her picture. He was in the background. He was looking right into the camera.
Miriam: Not much and you?
Suzy: Fine
Miriam (thinking): Not as fine as him, now that my definition of fine!
Suzy: Oh I wanted to share my idea for the youth event.
Miriam (thinking): The youth event, oh I almost forgot! I’m going to see him there. I need to decide what to wear. Should I wear the black dress that slimming or blue blouse that really brings out my eyes, maybe the collar shirt that makes me look sophisticated or…
Suzy: So do you want to hear my idea?
Miriam (thinking): Oh I wonder what Suzy think I should wear.
Miriam: Of course!
Suzy: Well I was thinking….
Miriam (thinking): I was wonder what he is thinking about me. Does he think I’m smart or nerdy? Does he think I’m someone cool to hang around with? Does he think I’m haha funny or weird funny or corny funny? Or am I funny looking?
Suzy: ….then we can plan to….
Miriam (thinking): I need to plan to exactly what I am going to do at the youth event. I’m going to pick out the best outfit. I’m going to have to ask the girls exactly what to wear. Then I’m going to do my hair in that one way that the girls say looks ssssooo good on me. I’m going to get there early but not too early and not late. Get the right seat in church. Then afterwards I’m going to walk right up to were he will be standing and say, Hi, I mean really say Hi. I’m going to shake his hand and ask how he doing if I get the guts. I’m going to make sure I invite him to wear we are going to eat or find out where he is going.
Suzy: But if that doesn’t work out…
Miriam: What if that doesn’t work out? What if I chicken out and not say hi? What if I blurt something out or what if I have something between my teeth? Or I trip? Of course if I trip he might help he up and that would be ssssoooo romantic!!!! Or he might laugh. But what if he starts talking to one of my friends or worst starts talking to Suzy!!! Then they start talking and then texting next thing you know Suzy is stealing my guy! I can’t believe Suzy would do such a thing! I mean she my best friend and all and she said she would Never Ever do that and even best friend pinky promise me. Suzy has been my friend for so long she wouldn’t not matter what, that why I love her so much. Forgive me Suzy for thinking such bad things. Even so he would never go for Suzy, she ssssoooo not his type.
Suzy: It going to be so much fun!
Miriam: I agree! I can’t wait! Only 34 ½ days away! Who all coming?
Suzy: Well I heard….
Miriam (thinking): Please say his church, please say his church. Please, please, PLEASE! Oh God on bended knee, I beg you that his church will be invited. I will do anything, anything, I’ll even…
Suzy: Oh yeah and…
Miriam (thinking): YES!!!!! Praise God! He is so good! Woohoo!!! I love you Lord you are so awesome!!!
Miriam: That’s cool.
Suzy: So hoping to see anyone in particular?
Miriam: Nah, not really, just scoping the crowd like usual. How about you?
Suzy: Well there is this one guy, you might know him. His name is...
Miriam (thinking): Don’t say it. Don’t say she like him. YES Not my guy!
Suzy: But he not going to be there. *Sigh* but that ok, maybe another time.
Miriam (thinking): YES!!!!
Miriam: Oh I’m sorry maybe next time.
Miriam (thinking): YES, he is coming! YES, he is coming!
Suzy: Well I hope the idea works outs. I’m so nervous about it. I’ve been working on this for months
Miriam (thinking): She nervous I’ve liked this guy for two weeks that like forever! I am so nervous that he knows that I have a total crush on him.
Suzy: I just wish he would be there.
Miriam: Maybe he will find out about it and come. You never know.
Miriam (thinking): Beside he kinda cute too. I remember he once said hi to me it was ssssoooo sweet!! We were all standing in a group and he came and said hi…

*This story may just be stretching the truth. Girls do not always constant think of guys this way. Oh…us, girls are not that fickly. Most of us have both feet on the ground and know exactly what we think and have common sense. Or..... maybe not!*

This is dedicated to someone who I wish to remain unnamed at this time. She knows who I’m talking about. Love ya girl!

An Alter and A Cane

2008-10-13T03:29:00.003-07:00

They gathered in by the hundreds, they were in their prime of life. Energy almost seemed to ripple through the crowd, as apostolic young people from several states joined together for a great youth convention. Yet in the mist of all this strength, and power, youth that had more energy then anyone can attempt to put in some energy drink, was something that looked oddly out of place. With guys that stood tall and girls that could walk with grace and easy in heels, was a wheelchair, walker, crutches and other such stuff.

It can bad enough to come to a youth meeting with a pimple on your nose, or maybe not the most fashionable outfit but to be weak in the body, that another story by itself. You can’t keep up with the other youth because your strength is gone. People aren’t sure what to say or do around you it not normal to be that sick. People talking about you and what wrong and you receiving glances of pity is not fun thing either

It broke the heart of many adults at that convention to see young people hurting physically. So it was no surprised at the last night of the convention when a minister at the front of the church began talking about the need in that service. Asking everyone to bind together in prayer for a youth that was in pain, but which youth was he particular talking about? Was it the young man who was is in a horrible car accident this year and was now in a wheelchair? Or surely for the young girl who had a life treating disease and was forced to use a walker due to being so weak? Or the girl in the walking cast who broke her foot that was not healing correctly? Surely it had to be the girl who was having horrible back pains that caused her to be in constant pain. Young people who came miles to be at the convention, kids that didn’t want to miss being at a convention where they knew God would move. But I was honestly shocked when I heard my name called to come to the front. That when I reached down and grabbed my cane and headed for the alter.

All the prior year I had been sick with what I thought was just the stomach flu again or a bad cough, I never seem to fully get over being sick. Then the news hit me like a freight train, I had cancer. I tried to be normal and keep up with life working full time, hanging out like a normal youth, church, school and the whole nine yards but I only made myself worst. Instead of resting up the surgery I pushed myself to the limit almost up to the day of my surgery. The surgery went well but the cancer was much worst then expected. I then spent much longer in the hospital. Finally I went home and began the road to recovery. I was finally feeling well again, had the urge to eat. I had almost gained all my weight that I had lost. Then I was put on a strict diet in preparation for radiation, then radiation itself, I began to get weak again. By the time of convention started I had almost like carpool tunnel syndrome symptoms in all my joints and was so weak that I was forced to use a cane.

I felt unworthy to be asked to come to the alter, with so many sicker than myself, why was I chosen. I wanted to cry, I knew I need it prayer but other did too. "God why can’t they come forward too?" As the ministry laid their hands on my head and the church in one accord began to pray, I felt a power I have never felt before. As if oil began to run from the top of my head, pouring over my painful joints and giving strength in my body. When they finished praying, I wanted to leave my cane on the alter as a sign of what He had done for me, but I was checked in the Spirit. What I didn't know was God had only given me strength for the rest of my trip but not complete healing. I walked back to my seat with almost a bounce in my step.

When I got back to me I set I began to weep, why had God only choose me to called to the front when so many where sick? Why couldn’t other youth get the chance to feel that same healing power I felt? That when God spoke to me. “Look at the crowd what do you see?” I lifted my face and looked. Instead of seeing strong, powerful young people I saw young people who were wounded and weak. Young people with wheelchairs and walkers, kids who were very sick, I was getting a glimpse into the spiritual world. That when I noticed my own spiritual cane. During my sickness instead staying near God I was trying to do it on my own with my own strength and became spiritual weak. I was forced to use a cane because of my spiritual weakness.

As the alter call was called, I stood to walk with two canes now. One for my physical weakness and another for my spiritual weakness, others were heading up with their spiritual wheelchairs, crutches, walkers and canes. Young people who had been straying from God that had cancers much like myself, spiritual cancers. Diseases and sickness that left them weak and hurting. That when God began to touch young people just as he had earlier touched me in the physical sense. Power of God moved so much in that service that unbelievable spiritual healing were taking place, and the alter became littered with spiritual walkers, canes, crutches and wheelchairs. Strength began pour into spirits, like oil over them. That night when I left that alter, I still was holding a cane, I was still weak in the body though much stronger now. This time I got my chance to leave something at the alter to show of God's healing, my spiritual cane.

One Man's Story

2008-10-09T04:19:00.001-07:00

One Man’s Story
June 23, 2008

Let me tell you a story that I promise is true
It may seem familiar because it not very new
It’s about a man beaten by this World’s awful games
Once a proud and strong man now full of sin and shame

The Devil had his fun; and started up a fight
Beating the man senseless it was an awful sight
They he was left in gutter to die, no use to anyone
Until that precious day when he met the risen Son

To that Hill called Calvary, this man just simply went
To surrender his broken life, that seemed already spent
Those burdens rolled off his back into the deep blue sea
The chains and shackles were gone and he was set free

Then the Angels stop and listen, with hearts so full of cheer
Not a noise in heaven could be heard, as the music grew near
Then a song broke forth that made the entire Heaven’s ring
“Praise God, I’ve been redeemed” the man began to sing

Then all at once the angels let out a victory shout
They strike up the band, and dance all about
Cause never will you hear any angel sing that song
For only to the sinner saved by grace does that belong

Because Jesus paid a high price so ever long ago
So He can take a blacken heart, make it white as snow
Then create a new man and give him a new start
A new life, a clean soul and a joyful heart

But the journey seem hard at first on the narrow way
The man at first struggled and falls, but never would he stray
For he learned that only way that he could ever stand
Was on his knees and hold tight to Jesus’ mighty hand

Then when the dark night came and clouds hid the light
The enemy came in; he felt he was loosing the fight
Where did Jesus go? He use to be so near
The man knew he shouldn’t be scared but oh how he feared

He felt he was walking through that Valley of Death
He wondered when he would draw his last and final breath
This was to much to bear the burden was to great
He knew he had to trust but would be his fate?

Then silence fell, as the morning begin to break
The wounded soldier stirred then started to awake
Where once he stood in that great battle’s heat
He now stood with his enemies’ dead and around his feet

The battle was too great, the night oh so long
But there was only One who can ever be so strong
To wipe out the enemies to make them all fall
The One and Only, my All in All

In that great battle O’ how he had cried
But now his heart overflowed with joy inside
On that battlefield where he barely had a chance
Now can be seen a man doing a grateful dance

For when you have King of kings riding by your side
You have the Greatest Warrior you will ever find
For one things for sure and will always stay the same
Enemies will always tremble at mention of His name

From mountaintops to valley low, place he has gone
From tragedies and miracles, yet the man journeyed on
He did his duties faithful he had a servant’s heart
Faithful in the little thing he did his little part

So when death was coming to take this man away
He hoped that he would hear Jesus simply say
“Thou good and faithful servant, I must say well done
You will rule with me and your life has just begun”

So into the same arms that brought him out of sin
Into the same arms that now welcome him in
Once was a popper is now royalty, after all he is a child of the King
Forever in heaven he will always be, to worship, praise and sing

But as I come to a close this story now must end
Yet there is one last message that I promise I would send
Remember this man, who life story I just share
Tell it to your family and friend for whom you care

Jesus is your Savior and your closes friend
Bread of Life, Almighty in whom you can depend
The Alpha and Omega, Jehovah Lord of Host
That omnipresent Spirit, who fills the universe

Be faithful and true and all that you do
And no matter what Jesus will never leave you
Press towards the mark of heaven that’s above
And don’t forget to show neighborly love

So when death comes to take you away
You will also hope that you will hear Jesus say
“Thou good and faithful servant, I must say well done
You will rule with me and your life has just begun”

~It was Sunday night and the day had been awesome after 3 people received the gift of the Holy Ghost. It was after midnight and I was exhausted and I felt much peace. After listening to the song, Untitled Hymn by Chris Rice, I had though it would be neat to put a short story behind the song, something that could be combined with the song. But the story poem took on a life of it own and the song soon forgotten. So I sat down at computer to scribble it out. It was till 5:30a that morning that I finally stopped, now to excite to sleep, I sat crying. It wasn’t my writing it was God’s work; I was just honored to get to type it out. ~*~ JSC ~*~

Little bit about me

2008-10-04T17:31:00.004-07:00

My name is Jacqueline Suzanne, I'm 24 years old. I'm from Arizona and I love Jesus with all of my heart! He is so good to me!

I don't claim to be a writer. I don't claim to be a poet. I don't claim to write songs. I'm not sure the right way to write a story. I make grammer mistakes. I may not know the correct way to start a story. I would like to call myself a Story Teller but you can't show that online in a blog.

I have written stories on and off through the year but more recently. I've written a couple of poems, a song here and there. I'm attempting to write a book but still working on it. I make not claim on anything.

It is the late hours of the day, long after the sun has laid down it head and the moon begining to rule the night. When most are snug in bed and few are awake. It in these wee hours, maybe when even God seems to slow down that I receive my inspiration. Whether at work, in the quiet moments that I have to take a break, or after a long day. I seem to do most of my writing during the late night.

My stories are really a mixture of everything. Like I said earlier, please let me know what you think of my writing. My only hope is to make you think, laugh, smile, cry, think of God, or what ever. I want to show a little glimps into the late night hours times that I share with God. The times when Jesus and I spend a few minutes together to write you a story.

Jacqueline Suzanne